Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
always put knives in blade down
emmaleeislamee 0
Wow, you're mum seems like such a nice lady.
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Comments (111)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
That was no cutlery; that was my knife! *ba-dum-ch!* Proff, you might not want to copy my YDI litanies. A) You're being unoriginal, which is bad enough, and B) that's the reason I was banned for a while. But the mods have told me a way around it! Hey, OP! YDI for contaminating the clean dishes, having a mom, having a dishwasher, having a house, having blood in any way at all, having fingernails, being a klutz, and calling your mom "mum". And yes, I know OP is an Aussie. IDGAF. No "mum"! And Rebbee, I'm glad to know you missed me. I missed video games.
yuggi1 11
hmm... well now you will know better next time, and won't leave the knifes on the bottom of the pile of dishes :P
puddingface17 0
ouchh!
Mirorbo 27
Are you the same darling from the sandals FML?
christa953 12
ohhh sounds so painful :( fyl
BoyBeyond 0
Wow I hate hearing about blood it makes my stomach turn. Exspecially when its something minor like in these cases because i can imagine it and how it would hurt. FML
Vagrarian 2
Sounds like my mom. After a road trip with them, I was horribly carsick. When we got home, I stumbled out and did the heave-ho on the lawn. She then proceeded to bitch me out for not barfing on the compost pile. When I could speak, I informed her that next time, I'll just hurl in the car, like I almost did several times. She was like that, more concerned about material things than my well-being.
SkullCanddi 0
If Shes So Worried About them Make Her Wash Them. She Needs To Stop Bitching.
DMinimo 0
omg. just reading this paralyzed me for a sec
Zakuraa 0
All that I thought of while reading this is "insensitive bitch", and "ouch". lol