Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a hurry to get to my exams. I’m a new driver so my parking was a little crooked but I didn’t have time to fix it. I was expecting to come back to a note on my car. I wasn’t expecting three of my tires to be slashed and the words “I Suck At Parking” to be keyed into my car. FML
Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML
Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML
Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said, "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML
Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
So you didn't stop when you heard the first two tyres being slashed?
breakingbenjamin_fml 0
hahahahahahahha i bet her friend had read the sign and just wanted her to back up for ***** and giggles
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Comments (96)
epicwinmaster 0
how do you not feel the first 2 tires being slashed? or was it some motion activated spike trap? Women drivers, gotta love em. YDI
georgie_sweetypi 0
I don't understand why, in a car park you would not be able to back up your car... how the hell are you supposed to get out??
harmony88 0
Some car lots require you to pay for the privelage to park and don't want people driving out the way they came in to avoid paying. They could use a gate, but people aren't afraid of driving through them. It happens in gated lots all the time on my college campus.
Contra 0
There would be an entrance... and an exit. In one, out the other.
poeticpunk77 0
didn't someone post one of these like 3 days ago? *yawn*
JimmyShoes 0
How come you got in alright with no spikes but you went backed up the same way and your tyres got slashed?
escualida 0
There's a special mechanism where there are metal spikes that come up from the floor but they're facing forward, if you drive on them the correct way your tires push them down on the flat side and they sink into an opening in the floor, if you back up the spikes are now facing your tires and they don't sink into the floor, they sink into your tires.
joethebiden 8
The word "carelessly" automatically gets a YDI in my book.
Fett 0
clearly you're a woman and retarded
elara15 0
Clearly this was stolen from a horrible TV show, and you're looking for any opportunity to use sexism in humor. Get over yourself.
philly8608 0
Well to be fair, it says "woman and retarded." The OP is a woman and this little incident proves she is at least capable of being retarded beyond the average person. Now if instead "you're a woman and that makes you retarded," had been written, then that would be sexist. Saying she's a woman (true) and retarded (conditionally true based on the evidence), makes no connection between her gender and mental capacity.
1stFail103163 0
Stop attempting humor by being a moron, that's how people get shot and all your innernetz friends would miss you too much.
epccsplayer 0
I smell sabotage. YDI because you are gullible enough to fall for your friends' prank. That, or you're all just retarded. Either way YDI
wingedspiritus 0
THIS IS SO FUNNY LOLOL. But I'm sorry too Dx Totally FYL. D: What doesn't make sense is that all of the 4 tires got slashes o.O; Wouldn't it have been only 2?
ozymandias_fml 0
How? Were you too stupid to stop when the first two tires went flat, or were you going too fast in reverse to stop in a reasonable amount of time? Not only that -- HOW DID YOU NOT SEE THE TIRE SLASHERS AND FEEL THE BUMP DRIVING OVER THEM THE FIRST TIME? Or the second? Or the THIRD -- WHEN TWO TIRES WENT FLAT INSTANTLY? I wish you lost your license over this -- you are too damn unobservant to drive safely.
ClumsyJason 3
Laugh my ass of.