Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left ribcage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.
askullnamedbilly 33
Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!
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Comments (92)
isorang 13
Well maybe if you sweat enough, no one will be able to tell that you got some milk seepage going on.
thejimler 9
Don't forget to cream your opponent!
RageWolf16 31
I'm sure there are medications and treatments? It'll be okay man it's not like you're doing it on purpose, people will understand I'm sure
Cerebral_Origami 5
Did you change your diet recently? Sometimes a large decrease in caloric intake can cause a man to lactate. Or I'd imagine if you started working out a lot harder and didn't increase your intake.
cocainewhore 30
He said he was diagnosed with a condition which causes him to, not that his diet or work out causes him to though.
Distantsoul 8
Use it as a distraction technique, squirt it in the eyes of your opponent ?? who will have the last laugh then
SoBeSatan 22
You've got this. Just own it and don't be embarrassed!
laden_swallow09 35
Here's one: You can breastfeed your opponents because it'll be the only way they'll be able to eat after you've had your way with them? I tried.
GuyOnBridge 14
......Got Milk?
Obito_Uchiha651 17
Hey at least you don't have to buy milk for your cereal anymore
moocowmilk0 19
Squirt your opponent in the eyes