Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Not sure that's how it works
Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML
Totally worth it
Today, I had the most amazing lesbian sex of my life with this girl I had been crushing on for so long. Today is also the day I became practically homeless, courtesy of my parents, who apparently never heard of knocking before entering. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Top comments
skyeyez9 25
Your gay roomie should realize straight people don't just magically become gay and munch their roommates.
marinus_fml 20
By coming do you mean cumming?
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Comments (110)
Mjfalcon 8
pwned
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
be bi sexual that way you get to have a bf and a gf
J1LT 0
Being bisexual does NOT give you the right to be an utter slag and have both a gf and a bf. It gives you the option of having a gf OR a bf, commitment and faithfulness is just as paramount in a relationship with someone who's bisexual as it is in a straight/gay relationship. No, I'm not a homophobe, I'm bisexual and fed up with people having the attitude of "oh so you have both?"
SARSvirus79 0
Nicely put, J1LT.
DudeImBetter 0
why don't you have a bf and a gf it's not like commitment and faithfulness is paramount in bisexual relationships.
fisheatsbear 6
Just to put this out there, bisexual chicks, hot... usually. guys? not so much.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I agree with you for the most part J1LT. I have several friends of bi-sexual orientation and they are almost always in relationships that are exclusive. I must say, though, that they do have the occasional story of bi-sexual threesomes or more-somes, so I can understand where the assumptions come from as well.
0opsie 6
Why is everyone assuming the roommate was already coming on to her? Maybe the OP found out the girl was a lesbian and, thinking lesbians want to munch on everyone with boobs, she went ahead and made up an imaginary boyfriend to stop her from coming on to her in the first place. That's just as likely, since there's not so many detail in this FML.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#41 Seriously? I'm bisexual but believe in being with only one person at a time and believe in being faithful to that one person. I completely agree with J1LT-- just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean that they want a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. I've never had a threesome or had more than one significant other at a time.
WishResign 0
52, I think 41 was just kidding & saying the opposite of what J1LT said as a joke ;)
IVANTTOCOME 0
Have sex with your roommates dad, that will get the point across.
iliketurdles 7
#62, you my sir, win at life with that attitude.
nerdygirl2261 0
but they really are, I'm bisexual too. there is always a commitment.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Assuming all bisexuals have both a bf and a gf at the same time is like assuming all straight girls have several bfs at the same time.
DudeImBetter 0
yeah I thought it was pretty obvious that I said it as a joke. I guess people really do take this site too seriously.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Just to be clear, Dude, my comment was directed to 13, and those with his mindset. I caught the sarcasm in yours.
dogcolon 0
Hey 52 tryin' 2 3 sum?
lvanlier 0
who would go for you? thats probably why you are bi sexual
nerdsgetmehot 23
#105 You talking to me? You'd better not be.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#93 I apologize for not catching your sarcasm. I'm really not good at catching sarcasm via text...
petergurll 0
think its time to move out -.-'
marinus_fml 20
By coming do you mean cumming?
maphineRAWRS 10
LOL WIN^
mfmylifesrsly 30
maphine every time I see you comment I can't help but think of the time someone said "she wants his (marinus's) ****." :D
joseph42424233 0
number 7 looks like she has air injected into her face and arms.
eddieyes 0
56 she does.....lol mmm that's meannnnnn
sloppyflow 1
#56 u meanie that's mean. btw girl on girl is pretty hot tho. just saying
KylaaKatastrophe 0
Haha, 40, I always think the same. xD
aLAnF_14 0
well ask for a new roommate?
nemo206 0
lesbians are the way to go nowadays
aardvarkish 17
Hell yeah!
BWill9014 4
lol that's pretty wow
Kraly 0
Instead why don't you FIND an actual boyfriend? And you never know, one day you might want to expirement your roomate will be there. Never underestimate the powers of lesbians! They seem to have the ability to draw you in *shudders
stayc0103 0
lol!!
doctor_itsmylife 3
if i were a girl i'd give it a try. i think lesbian relations are much different and much better than gay relations, so maybe you will like it
Kraly 0
I agree, im bi so I probably would have tried it, but only if her roomy attractive and not stalker-ish.
KillTheDance 4
Nahh gay relationships are better than lesbian ones.
Kraly 0
I guess it all depends on the type of person your in a relationship with but idk because ive never been in a lesbian relationship.
starberries 0
She won't like it unless she's bi. Don't be so ******* ignorant. You can't just CHOOSE to like girls.
aardvarkish 17
This reminds me of Ali G's question: "Is it OK for girls to try feminism if they're drunk and then get back with their boyfriends?"
starile 20
Of COURSE 9 and 10 would "give it a try", they're already attracted to girls. 61, your username and comment kick ass.
nickbouz 3
the bible says that homosexuals are an obamanation
gusgus36 5
I'm assuming that firmly telling her that you are straight didn't work? course, if she is that into you, I don't know that a mythical boyfriend will stop her advances. semester's almost over... maybe you can request a new room or room mate
starile 20
Yeah, bc I'm wondering how long she can keep up with the lie.
1personinthiswor 0
Was she drunk? How come saying you were straight didn't work?