Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Today, I was in bed with my girlfriend and she asked to see my phone to check my Snapchat to see what was in there. After she was done with it, she start looking into her phone to see her memories and started crying over her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I wanted to spend some time with my girl, but she was more interested in her phone and 90 Day Fiancé. Bored, I went to play video games. Ten minutes later, she came looking for me and yelled that I clearly prefer video games to her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
Today, my girlfriends and I had planned a movie night. When she got home, she took her laptop and some snacks we prepared, and spent the evening playing online games. When I asked if I should wait for her, she told me to go and "watch some shit on Netflix, I don't really care" without looking away from the laptop. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
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Top comments
PharmacyJoe 13
"No dear. I'm just trying to see deep enough into your soul to know if you're worthy enough for sacrifice to the Dark Lord."
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Wow, paranoid much?
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Comments (114)
GamerPerson 19
People like this annoy me to no end. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, if you're THIS paranoid, you should NOT be in a relationship! FYL, OP. :(
IWishIWasObama 12
Women's basketball? If it was volleyball I'd understand.
Tripitaka 21
Dude... Run! Fast!
vcapelo 19
And so what if OP was? Does it really matter? It's a basket Ball game in TV and people are supposed to watch it!
Urpoppy 21
I would dump her.
ajs1987 15
I can totally imagine my ex fiancee trying to pull that kind of BS. Get out of that relationship asap, trust me.
kayteakay 26
The only justification I can think of is if OP is one of those people who is constantly, blatantly staring at the opposite sex any chance he gets.
Shlalg 15
She sounds like she won't allow you to keep any female friends you have, too. I'd say run.
Saraishi 25
Where are people finding all these crazy girlfriends??
Eswizz 8
Why was the TV even tuned to a women's basketball game? Almost sounds like she planned it.