Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
Use one of her shirts to clean it up then she might learn to do it herself next time.
Pleonasm 36
Scoop all the vomit into a bucket and pour it back onto her face while she's sleeping. Maybe she'll learn the lesson. Or she will wake up and won't remember a thing. Win/Win
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Comments (66)
biasedshooter 24
That's why you dont give ugly people mirrors
sullivankeara 25
Classy.
ZachHatesPeople 22
Sounds like it's time for a talk.
Remembered 14
..And perhaps a new roommate.
4evaawkward 11
Id kick her out lol
linkinpark98 24
I'd rather "teach her a lesson" instead of throwing her out. Maybe something along the lines of forcing her to clean up her own throw up with a toothbrush and some thin napkins.
classicsparkles 17
#39 OP is her roomate not her parent if my roomate tried to make me clean something with a toothbrush for "punishment" (even if I deserved it like OP's roomate) I would tell her to go **** herself. Parent/child discipline doesn't really cross over to relations with peers.
xSphinx 18
39, kicking her alcoholic ass out IS teaching her a lesson. You can't force someone you love with who pays rent to do something for being a ****, she's not the OPs child.
tony1891 22
sounds like Someone had a good time last night.
Brandi_Faith 34
It amazes me how people associate that with having a good time. How is puking, blacking out, not remembering anything, having a hangover and massive headache in any way a good time?! I can have a really good time and after I experience none of those issues.
Pleonasm 36
Scoop all the vomit into a bucket and pour it back onto her face while she's sleeping. Maybe she'll learn the lesson. Or she will wake up and won't remember a thing. Win/Win
incoherentrmblr 22
...or wash your vag with it...
Paco_el_Taco 17
Use one of her shirts to clean it up then she might learn to do it herself next time.
redstone7693 29
That's ******. Talk to her about it
GodPart2 20
Leave it there a few days and use the gym showers if you can (or other alternatives). That should teach her a lesson
linkinpark98 24
I don't think letting the smell of someone else's throw up permanently sit in your house and all over your bathroom floor is a good alternative to just talking to your roommate about cleaning it up.