Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML
Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML
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Top comments
CrewBoy 10
Looks Like you just found Dinner!!!!
loserboii 11
Use that dead squirrel for Halloween decorations. That'll really scare the kids!
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Comments (59)
Karma21 4
And this is why I shoot every pest I see near my house .
gracehi 33
Since when are squirrels pests? I call them, "dinner."
TheMathMajor 26
Yeah... That's how you end up accidentally killing your neighbor's pet cat and getting sued on Judge Judy.
evilplatypus 39
13 - Just so you know, squirrels are terribly territorial. Every time you kill one, another will take its place. Having a squirrel (or two) in your yard, will keep other squirrels out of your yard. You're just basically replacing one squirrel with another. You're still going to have squirrels. Doesn't sound worth the time/effort/bullets to me. Unless you enjoy hurting small animals, at which point I'll redirect you to the symptoms of psychopathy.
emeraldisle 30
There must've been a lot of leaves if they were able to cover up the smell.
perdix 31
Well, you shouldn't be wearing it as a mustache, then. Sorry about the smell, but your Mario costume is just spectacular!
gc327072 31
They sell them on eBay and 4chan.
aussieaccents 7
He was probably just trying to get the cookie like the Squirrel from over the hedge. No? Anyone? Okay..
olpally 33
*vomits* blah!!!
Welshite 40
You have the weakest stomach I have ever seen. Just sayin'.
olpally 33
Lol... Thanks penguinbitch and welshite, It's been a rough month for me... Haha... :P
gc327072 31
Alright, olpally, prepare to be a bulimic, 'cause I'm about to say the gnarliest stuff: *cracks knuckles* I'll bet that squirrel was all rotten and squishy, I bet the birds had eaten its eyes out, leaving empty sockets filled with ants dining on its brain. I bet its intestines we're hanging out, just like the ill-fated dog from Where the Red Fern Grows. And I bet, hanging out, they looked like Bear Grylls' version of spaghetti. And the bugs crawling on its rotten, bloody intestines probably looked like sun-dried tomatoes, or black pepper. Mmmmmm yummy. By the way, does anyone want clam chowder?
olpally 33
Gc.. I just had a major vomit orgy reading that, There goes my wardrobe, again... Fml...lol.
ICastillo 25
Well you touched it OP you forgot to wash your hands duh that's how come you keep smelling it.
djgoreo 12
I'm pretty sure the tragic smell is just imprinted in her mind.
rugby_lover09 13
Why are you constantly sniffing a dead squirrel?
UsagiArwen 23
I do believe OP means that he can't get the smell off his mind. But that might just be how I interpreted the FML. Some smells are so awful they seem to stick to your nose hairs, even if it's only a psychological thing.
brittanycraze 0
It's Halloween. Fire-in-the-hole that shit.
hellproof023 6
Power washer.
coolhandluke60 6
Yummy