Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A dog's bark comes out of its mouth, not its ass. Learn that.
Occums_Razor 0
Yum.
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Comments (71)
Occums_Razor 0
Yum.
biass 0
get glasses, idiot.
chuy92 0
it's not bad unless you squish it :p
MAGNAVOX 0
Did your hand smell like shit afterwards? XD
Smeagol648 0
So what OP? He has a good sense of humour. And plus he gives a good fcuk. This isn't an FML.
KingDingALing 9
24- Hahahahaha! I love your pic!
zerobahamut03 2
Hahahahahahaha sucks for you op.
ygdrassil 17
You wrote "Dad," it should be "dad."
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lol @ 24. In that case, I don't EVER want a dog with a sense of humor.
madarchod 0
how does it smell?
PieInTheSky24 0
#1 exactly what I was going to say :D
Smeagol648 0
32- Why, thank you :D 43- Sorry, that comment was actually for the other FML post. I have no idea how it ended up here :S P/S: 43 your reply made me laugh! xD
ImaCanuck 0
Ydi for not noticing, there's a big difference.
Shaggy_92 5
lol swirleys
perdix 31
A dog's bark comes out of its mouth, not its ass. Learn that.
JustinKingr 0
now that's funny!
xxpeacexxb 0
you are stupid
YDIbigtimebro 4
You're fat
llamadramas 20
best comment
SAMHAlN 0
hehehehheheheh what?
iHateThisLife 10
That's why u always pick up after ur dog tue moment after they sh!t to avoid mishaps like that.
Prolusive 5
He did.
RedPillSucks 33
That dogs bark was worse than its bite.
hnz 13
share the joy and spread it to your dad!
afghan_angel 0
ohh ewwww! I must say YDI :D
mintcar 10
There's a difference.