Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Dogs rule
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Bad boy
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Doggy dog world
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Top comments
iAlissa 34
It saddens me that actual loyalty seems so hard to come by now.
Welshite 40
Your wife is in the doghouse now.
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Comments (94)
rocketgurl 15
Who brings their dog over when they're going to **** a married woman??
MotoGP_Fan 11
A smart man apparently
SweetasCandy0609 28
#13 I'm guessing a man that has been caught with a married women before.
PaulieXP 16
Get a gun, shoot him and his dog. When the police arrive tell them he ordered his dog to attack you in your own home. Self defence.
Fidel_ASStro 9
Looks like his bitch was more loyal than yours
stephanyovalle 15
I feel like there's a story behind why the other guy brought his dog to your house OP, maybe he's married too, and said "I'm gonna take the dog for a walk" or something like that.
born_hustla 26
This shit is just wrong. I'm curious to know how this is gonna work out.
Brooke5702 13
Considering that OP's wife was a cheater, I'd think that the thought of losing her is a gain. Though I could see how it would still hurt because of feelings and such.
born_hustla 26
It's true that she's not loyal for doing such a thing...but also OP, I hate to say this but, are you doing your job as a husband? I'm not gonna pretend that I know what the married life is or what it's like to be a great husband but unless your wife is a nympho, there might be a reason why she's banging some other dude. And to make matters worse, women communicate in codes and signs. I'm sure all men wish women spoke to us directly and on the other hand, women wish that us men, were more aware. I strongly believe that somewhere there is a way, but I haven't figured it out yet. Finally, communicate better with your wife. I'm sorry tho!
YourOpinionSucks 22
Well, only thing I can say is to divorce the bitch as soon as possible. Hope you had her sign a prenup :D otherwise the skanks getting your shit :DD
goaskdad 3
Adultery is grounds for divorce in all 50 states; since she is the guilty party, it is unlikely she will receive anything other than a token settlement.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I'm sorry your wife is such a ***** you deserve so much better and I truly hope that you find it.
baxwar 15
I would have just found a way to take the dog and train it to love me and just have the dog to chill with while the guy has the unfaithful ***** It's just equivalent exchange a bitch for a bitch