Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML
Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML
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Top comments
missyj0 12
My friends dog jizzed on my sweater once... I know how you feel, OP. Dogs are ******* lucky they're cute.
jamesdscott44 6
What a bitch.
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Comments (121)
missyj0 12
My friends dog jizzed on my sweater once... I know how you feel, OP. Dogs are ******* lucky they're cute.
Roevera 14
Not all dogs are cute.. the Mexican hairless dogs creep the hell out of me.
CockAsian 14
You mean chihuahuas?
ShyAnn29 15
No, Mexican hairless dogs and chihuahuas are different
buck33 14
Chihuahuas creep me out...
icrest80 4
1- i would suggest to get your dog neutered but i would never wish for another males balls to be cut off
Awsumuzzie 12
I bet you made the dog sing "I jizzed in her sweater". Lucky you, I'd be lucky to make my pimple ooze white substance.
notsorandomguy 18
Lonely Island reference, 66? Too bad it wasn't his pants though, that would've been funnier.
Awsumuzzie 12
71, yes it was. I had to alter it a bit.
Calyx_fml 22
That wasn't your friends dog. It was Perdix.
nerobluerose 10
1 - portkey me to hogsmeade auror Tonks.
ninjadinos 14
I hope you weren't on a walk with your dog.. That would just be awkward.
SystemofaBlink41 27
45- I know the're like, watching your every move man...
taytaylal 11
Don't leave your sweatshirt on the ground...?
Roevera 14
Who said it was on the ground? Maybe OP had it hanging on the railing or something and the dog marked it?
RochelleRedvines 8
I have learned in life that a dog can make a pretty freaking high arc when peeing and it is not limited to the ground.
The_Troller 14
Plus it seems like they choose specific things to pee on. One time my dog pushed my bedroom door open just to piss all over my sleeping bag, and somehow did it without getting a single drop on anything else.
sonuskos 6
Not as bad as me. When i was young my dog pissed on my back while i was laying down. Sad thing is is that i wondered for like half an hour why the fk is my back wet.
grahambertus 11
So many commenters on FML leave lame advice with a question mark. If you're gonna leave advice at least be sure about it and dont put a question mark. It just makes you look insecure about your statement.
LightningCactus 12
They're veteran snipers.
omgthatsosuppera 4
That's your dog's way of showing ownership
theaws0m3guy 4
"You're mine, bitch!"
upyourzlolz 11
Better start on those kibble sandwiches.
kateRAWR 4
Lolzzzzz
Drigr 9
56, if you feel the need to specify "shit" meaning stuff instead of feces, then just don't say "shit" just cause you think it makes it cooler, cause in all honesty you look stupider saying "shit(stuff)" as opposed to just saying "stuff"
hellbilly205 17
And 58 you look stupider explaining it in full unneeded detail
ProhibitionRose 14
I highly doubt she said it that way to "look cooler". There are jackasses on here who would be like "ew why are you touching your dogs poop?!"
ICATiger 13
You're his property now.
icrest80 4
Thats slavery
magicdragon5 2
51- You don't say?
sparkrok 8
no it's not. it's a good job in a bad economy.
jamesdscott44 6
What a bitch.
hawkey126 0
I see what you did there...
ThatOneCanadian 0
I dont. please explain it to me
upyourzlolz 11
Obviously, 5 found the cure for cancer AND AIDS.
gmc_blossom 21
Female dogs are called "bitches." O.o That's all I can think of.
MickGold 8
70- that's what they meant. "what a bitch" cuz female dogs r called bitches. Congratulations! U get a cookie^-^
desireev 18
He was just marking his territory!
SoSickWithIt 14
I don't like your picture. Now all I can think about is all the spiders that I've murdered and the ones that have gotten away.
DreaminOfMusic 0
Didn't you notice that the sweatshirt was wet or smelled like pee before you left your house?
FUUUandyourmom 16
Now I look like I copied your comment. Awesome.
FUUUandyourmom 16
Didn't you notice it was wet before you put it on?
ProhibitionRose 14
It probably had dried by the time OP put it on. Wearing any kind of wet/damp clothing to walk in is rather uncomfortable.
Swiftly 0
Yeah how did you not notice the smell when you were putting on the sweatshirt?
Musicholic_asey 1
It took you an hour to realize that?