Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
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Top comments
Nick_Corso 17
I don't know how you could respond to that
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Looks like she found hung so low.
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Comments (64)
6demon6spawn6 12
sounds like you were babysitting me, but im 20 now.
AlwaysWatching 27
Maybe they were actually fighting....?
EmsyyyRose13 24
How old is this little girl?
EmsyyyRose13 24
Yeah I used to make my barbies kiss naked. It's not super uncommon, but probably still worth asking about.
toxxickittyy 19
I'm pretty sure everyone has done this with some type of doll at some point though
yourwifelovesme 25
there were 69 comments before me lolol
worldclassrager 41
Little girl...no age given but still that's a really odd thing to do
atrandom 11
Depending on her age, that is a huge red flag for sexual abuse. You should definitely observe her a little more and see if she shows any more signs. If she does a call to CPS should be next
Slaught000 9
The only way for a young child to know all of that is if she has been severely molested. Call the cops or CPS. And if you don't...fear the bad karma you are earning.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Not true, my sister and i would play barbie rape and torture at 7 years old, we were never molested or raped. We had just been given the sex talk and were copying what we had seen in the movies on television.
ultra_notorious 26
prob got some pointers from mom and dad's foray the night before.