Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML
Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
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Top comments
StudMuffinette 17
finally my fml gets posted :D
speshlk37 13
tell her to "shave this..."
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Comments (210)
pwlittleangel 8
what a bitch, i hope you didnt shave the dog after all that
Itsthetruth 0
u should have shave one side only.
dannyfitz18 4
what does op stand for?
StudMuffinette 17
"original"
StudMuffinette 17
I meant to say "original poster" (sorry distractions)
atlfreak0418 0
That was my shih tzu and I'm "that lady"... >.> Just kidding.
SexyQueen0905 24
Know how you feel. My first one was posted and every one since has been rejected.
Frenchface 0
I hate that! being a groomer myself I feel your pain!
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Trim her eyebrows off and be like 'Did I say trim? I meant taser.'
Imgonnahaveabf 9
I'm very sorry, excuse the lame joke my friend made before. What I meant to say is: HOLD MY POODLE, DOG.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
whats gooiinn oonnnn with yu man!
msilvs 0
more like a FML for the dog if you were "vigorously" brushing it >.