Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML
Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
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Top comments
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
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Comments (116)
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
HayHayMoose 0
agreed.
sterlingarcher 1
well she could have said something instead of waiting 15 minutes lol..
liquidfireKAN 0
lol I feel sorry for you OP but this is hilarious. why don't you start off by asking " do you have a dog? " next time ;)
TheWindowLicker 13
I agree with #1, she just didn't want to be rude and interrupt..... maybe! If she did OP probably would think she was being a bitch...
Keffin 0
on another bright point, if OP was nervous, they got a bit of that out. right?
omg_a_BALLOON 0
I c wat u did thar.
cmyk 19
last this happen to me, i got a date. but ydi for not asking the most obvious question. "do you own a dog?"
littlemissFYL 5
its obvious that the OP is either extremely attractive or extremely ugly for someone to politely listen to you give a speech for 15 minutes for no damn reason.
FarSide 23
If you can't describe your business in 2 minutes, then you are doing it wrong. The first 30 seconds are the make/break point in the sale.
xzadious 0
10 bucks says she had a dog but after 15 minutes of u yapping away like an idiot she decided to not hire you because you wouldn't shut up.
Asario 0
tell this potential client to get a dog, and then come to your shop and spend 10x the human haircut cost to get her doggy groomed. but if she were smart she'd just use a scissors to avoid another 15 minute speech.
Uncool_LikeYou 0
maybe she did have a dog and she just told you she didn't so you would shut up..
gozar_fml 1
Too bad she wasn't a bitch - OP coulda groomed her.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#88 I work at a grooming salon.Before I did, my dog was washed, dried, brushed, nails done, and fur clipped for only $35. That's really not expensive. Nail trimming is free, and a bath and dry for a large dog is about $20. I can't speak for any other grooming salons, but the ones I've worked at definitely don't charge "10x the cost of a human haircut."
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
holewski 0
EXACTLY!!!!!! op deceived it for Missy out the most vital point of their business!!!
holewski 0
missing*
benderbot19 0
yeah. that should have been the first thing op said. could have saved some time!
Predental 5
15 min makes speeches boring. I would never use his service
staceysgenesis16 0
thats so true !!! wow ,, epic win !! i would think that question would be one of the first things to say
WallyTheWombat 0
Yea I agree. Plus you can't really call her a "potential client" for a dog grooming business unless she has a dog... or even a dirty raccoon or some kind of animal that you're willing to wash.
rgms38 0
& she may refer you to someone she knows
pman590 8
or at least, got a dog?
princessRiRi97 0
what does Op stand for?????
10_4Franky 0
Original poster a.k.a the author of the FML.
iBanana 17
OP, why did you not ask her beforehand?
severusplease 0
it's OP's fault; he/she needs to learn to be less pompous and DOG-matic
silvac13 0
what the **** you talking about???
Ariannalang 0
Why is this an FML? So not a big deal. She was just being polite.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
I can't really decide what to call this. I'm much more interested as to why you have a 15 minute speech for a dog grooming company. Car salesmen don't even have 15 minute speeches.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Maybe what you had to say was interesting. :D
22cute 17
Or maybe you need to reduce your speech to 2 minutes. And LISTEN more!
boygeorgebaby 0
how annoying. but people do get annoyed with the whole advertising thing. she didnt wanna be rude, and you probably wouldn't let her get a word in. YDI.
holagranola 15
YDI for not asking her if she had a dog;)
PSQ91 6
YDI for wasting your time on random people walking without dogs.
jennifer93 0
I hate when people have headphones in and I ask them a long question & they don't bother to tell me they couldn't hear me at all until after I ask it
Fiskerz 0
maybe they couldn't hear you to tell you they couldn't hear you...
PSQ91 6
Maybe IMO they don't give a damn