Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML
Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML
Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
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Top comments
StudMuffinette 17
finally my fml gets posted :D
speshlk37 13
tell her to "shave this..."
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Comments (210)
simon_lala 0
and she can pay you again for that.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
back at the kennel we breaded a shi tzu and a bull dog, you wanna know what we called it
knocking 0
Ew you breaded two dogs? What did you do, deep fry them after that? By the way, the joke you were trying to make is old and lame? For future reference, bread - a type of food, generally used to make sandwiches breading - what you do to chicked to make friend chicken breeding - the act of mating two dogs (or another animals) bred - the past tense of breeding, the word you should have used Examples: I am making a sandwich. Where is the bread? Mmm, this chicken is good. What kind of breading did you use? I am breeding my two purebred dogs today. I bred my dogs two weeks ago. And there's your english lesson for the day. :P
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
I live in canada, and we spell breed, bread in Canada
DKjazz 20
Half bulldog, half shih tzu? A Bullshiht?
Life_sucks_13 6
hate that! people aren't clear
wolfsheart 14
did you still get payed for all the time you put into it? you deserved to.
KeltikSkye 0
from one groomed to another...I sooooo understand.
DKjazz 20
I once had a mutt, half shih tzu, half poodle. A Shihtpoo.
SarahMae2014 10
woww...brush? shave? how'd she screw that up?
izreal 0
maybe she was high...?
OriginalPooh01 0
Ahh damn. YDI for not knowing how to yell, "**** this I quit!" XD
Kevin721_fml 4
onions