Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

Sneaky

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

No good deed and all that

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML