Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML
Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
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Top comments
dawood_k 27
Shame on you, you should always lift the eyepatch and make sure before doubting someone
CharresBarkrey 16
To get free donuts... We've been over this
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Comments (70)
Ctrl_H 18
Pirates also used real eye patches. Give him a donut.
wisericky 12
I'm sure some free donuts will smooth over that misunderstanding. :D
LindsayxMoore 18
so that was legit today? damn! I wsh i still had all my pirate stuff from gasparilla. love krispy kreme. but sorry op. that had to be awkward.
teffyweffy 6
Save me some free doughnuts!
Norvi 26
Usually medical eye patches look a bit different from party ones. Didn't OP notice?
CharresBarkrey 16
You can buy medical eye patches from pharmacies or drug stores for just a few bucks, though.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I know that you didn't know it was real OP however you shouldn't assume that it was part of a costume because you just don't ever know if it is real or not.
yscpunkchick 14
I think most everyone *would* assume its part of a costume. The man went into a Krispy Kreme on National Pirate Day, where dressing like a pirate would get you a free dozen doughnuts. OP, if you explained to the man why you said what you said, I'm sure he'd understand.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#45 I know it was dress up like a pirate day and get a free dozen because it clearly states it but it DID NOT say that the had to be dressed head to toe in a pirate custom so I do think it was her place to say he was dressed up enough for the doughnuts.
yscpunkchick 14
You're an idiot. No one said anything about being in full costume. I am saying that it was okay for OP to assume the customer was wearing an eye patch to get free doughnuts.
hienzburgess 9
well aren't you an ignorant and judgmental asshole.
mkcherry 14
hope he got the free doughnuts
livingmylife18 14
Trust me, it's real. I went through two years of hell at the age of 7-8 with an eyepatch on. It doesn't bring many positive comments
LennyComa 39
Dress like a Pirate just to get free donuts? Nope can't say I would go out of my way to do that. Anyway back on to the FML, I would of said the same thing so don't feel to bad, just give him the free donuts as an apology.