Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML
Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
At least your nipples are OK! For now, that is. If you complete your new look with a parrot, your nipples could be in peril.
Dave_Davington 34
If you go with a piece of gauze held in place with medical tape, it looks far more like a "my eye is ******" eyepatch, rather than a "yarrr, me hearties" eyepatch.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
At least your nipples are OK! For now, that is. If you complete your new look with a parrot, your nipples could be in peril.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
that patch is a small price to pay for being able to keep your eye sight. be thankful
Dave_Davington 34
If you go with a piece of gauze held in place with medical tape, it looks far more like a "my eye is ******" eyepatch, rather than a "yarrr, me hearties" eyepatch.
chris_lillo 15
It's a good conversation starter! "You should see what happened to the coffee pot!"
idragosani 17
And what's wrong with looking like a pirate???