Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
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Top comments
hedgehogs 0
They should have been kicked out of the theater with no refund.
killerviral 0
what the **** is she on crack what the he'll would they do that for
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Comments (69)
highsheep 0
YDI for taking shit from people. I wouldve sent her to the hospital.
heyheyt 0
yeahh, are you a cow?
Crazybae 0
lmfaooooooo
choupinette77 0
YDI for being a standard fatass.
bajunda 0
YDI for using the phrase, "all of the sudden."
Feverrotes 15
Previous comment got washed so I'll say it again. One of the funniest FML ever to me for some reason, just picture it. Some fat ass is sitting in front of you at the theater blocking your view of the screen and the kid next to you starts hitting that obstacle. How could you not root for him? *And yes I know it was mother-son pair sitting behind a girl who may not have been fat.
dn5575 0
serves you right for being fat all you big people should have your own section at the theaters so you don't block us normal peoples view
ash92_fml 0
How do you know she's fat? You're not normal, clearly. Drop dead.
The__Redneck 7
Yeah, we'll call it "Bigger Heaven." Ijit.
Feverrotes 15
@ash92 There had to be some legitimate reason for the family behind OP to be enraged enough for the son to hit as his mother cheered on. Think about it logically. This took place at a movie theater. There's not much going on except people watching the movie on the big screen up front and eating popcorn etc. The people hitting OP were sitting behind her. The mother referenced OP as "cow" Given all that fact, even detectives like Poirot or Columbo would comprehend that OP is fat.
boatkicker 5
There doesn't HAVE to be a legitimate reason. Some people are just assholes. I got punched once in a movie, for asking the 12 year olds behind me to be quieter. I got yelled at for stopping an unsupervised two year old from walking into a busy parking lot once, because you "shouldn't touch other people's children." People no longer need reasons to be rude. They just are.
ImaginaryFoe 1
#28 I read it as the kid was either a jerk or an idiot and hit OP. The mother was mad that OP scolded her child so told the kid to hit her again. I didn't get where the weight comment was about because where I'm from, being called a cow is like being called a bitch. But even if it was weight-related, is she supposed to skip movies because she is overweight? Stay in the back row?? Sheesh.
LemonStarship 5
Got Milk?
The_Disturbed 5
Wow...what's happened to half of the comments on here? There were at least 80 O_o
42billybob 5
if it happens again inform her that she is disturbing you movie watching experience, if she continues to egg on her child then you can get her thrown out. as for the cow thing, unless you're fat then her statement is invalid and she's a stupid bitch. if you are... simple equation, don't eat more than you need to. (and none of this, "i weigh 140 pounds, i'm a whale!" bullshit... i mean ACTUALLY fat).