Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
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Top comments
SwiftFaux 0
No babies for you.
pinkpolarbear 8
WIN! The man knows how to shoot.
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Comments (111)
leadman1989 16
"Do you feel lucky punk?"
satph 12
17- what's LASER an acronym for exactly?
raphdragon02 8
im guessing he was trying to tell you something.
ChaosAngel17 14
Dad of the year?
Xxak907xX 0
Cool dad
somewizdom 15
Better than aiming for your uterus.
Poetaster 10
Dad-1 Boyfriend-0
bizarre_ftw 22
I think this would be better suited as your bf's FML. Was he too busy running like hell in the opposite direction to type it?
Ray_of_midnight 23
Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Seems to me you could have looked that up for yourself.
modestpug 0
That's silly