Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
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Top comments
SwiftFaux 0
No babies for you.
pinkpolarbear 8
WIN! The man knows how to shoot.
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Comments (111)
FYLDeep 26
Sounds like your father could play for the Vikings.
FYLDeep 26
Aside from his nut-shot skills, how good is he at getting arrested for domestic abuse? We may have ourselves an all-star here.
deviable 9
Well maybe it's his way of blessing your boyfriend's sperm... With gun powder?
becky_becks 0
Nice! I'm surprised your shooting range let's you shoot pictures of people.....kind of odd/creepy.
alexchiltonLC 7
Except they don't
False_Stupidity 42
^^ I don't know, I think the part of the FML that reads "The target was a creepy poster of a man" kind of implies that yes they do.
5fdp4life 1
i think she thought you could bring your own pictures and shoot them... not the case lol
MrBoredGuy 1
Pew pew? Are we using LASERs now? And I capitalized it because technically it's an acronym, don't hate
THE_A_TEEN 28
As a gun fanatic, I respect your dad with that perfect shot, but with that I disrespect him for not accepting your boyfriend, as I assume...
nitram06 2
What the hell does the second half of your comment mean?
bizarre_ftw 22
You get confused by 19th century literature don't you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Learn to read, #37...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Most gun usually sound like pops when fired, but varies on the gun...
MrBoredGuy 1
Alright, we can be friends then. I forgive you
LonestarOkie 0
At least your dad protects ya and wont let just any random creep tom dick ir harry near his baby aha
JinxosGirl87 0
Make sure he doesn't turn the gun on you and shoot you in the ******!
SummerFever 8
He would get his ass thrown in jail.
JadeWalker 14
lol!
laurenzo16 0
Little target?