Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
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Top comments
Crea8urWorld 5
you should of looked at your friends and said 'it's okay, I got the ugly one this time'
marinus_fml 20
Taking one for the team! He deserves a ******* medal.
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Comments (209)
Crea8urWorld 5
you should of looked at your friends and said 'it's okay, I got the ugly one this time'
mom2pen 4
my thoughts exactly
GoingLesbian 0
LOL THIS I love.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
YES!!!
MizzErikaHart 8
this story reminds me of an epicfails "fitting in fail" picture
RuCheezBurger 10
Your probably not that fat if he approached you. Think of this as a sign that you'd be da boss woman if you lost any extra uneeded weight.
Mad_Alien 8
maybe he has a thing for fat people.
LizzieLizz18 4
Chubby Chaser!!
perdix 31
Plumpa Humpa!
Kirashai 9
Some cushion for the pushin'.
WearingHats 14
Sexual intercourse with obese women.
Mad_Alien 8
why was that rated down? I guess a lot of people hate fat people, theyre just jelly of their fluffeh-ness
xXSKYLARXx 0
bitch
Mad_Alien 8
the ****? haha okay I'm the bitch, thanks. I guess I'm being bitchy for saying there's nothing ******* wrong with people that are bigger than others.
Mad_Alien 8
hahaha yes she is good-looking, but because I don't post a pic exposing most of my breasts and because I'm a ******* 13 year old doesn't mean you can tell people they are ugly and thus don't have the right to be logical. you don't no one has to like me, just don't be an ass about it
grapisy 8
Maybe he said "super sexy", and you're just deaf?
stuart169 3
Lol
MmissyT 8
Dude, with your comment, picture, and about me thing, I just love you. :)
grapisy 8
Haha thanks?
blackberry90210 0
you should have said to your friends - dont worry , ive got the ****** this time then taken him to the toilets and ****** him with a strapon
katieklein 0
Somebody needs a diet!!
FMijnLeven 11
The guys who ''chose'' who gets who in big groups, are always jerks.
absolutegrrr 7
or "choose"
vamptt 0
guys. enough with telling them to lose weight. honestly. I'm on the plus side and although guys and girls won't admit to it. more then the assumed average wants a girl who isn't going to break in half as soon as she is hugged. hind sight though, I agree with the come back of, "it's ok. I'll take the ugly one".
kateheartswaffle 0
Oh come on.. So if I'm not fat, that means I'm gonna break in half? Girls who are thin can have curves as well. Curvy and fat are not synonyms. I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I used to be very very skinny and it would hurt my feelings when people told me to, "Go eat a sandwich." Some people are simply made skinny. We're all born different, so don't generalize. Skinny doesn't equal no boobs, butt, and about to break in half. And fat doesn't equal ugly.
xxangierulzxx 0
i am very skinny and i was just born that way and i will not snap in half because im a strong gymnast and swimmer. just because your skinny it doesnt mean your weak.
CaptainDouche 0
I'm skinny and I won't be snapped in half cause I'll beat yo muthafucking ass if you try it. ima size 2 :)
jadane_fml 0
I like a phat ass bcuz of the low self-esteem that comes with it.
a_nutritionist 10
ive always loved the way some fat people will insult skinny people despite bitching about how theyre really good people/not that fat/still beautiful. no, sorry, you just insulted an entire group of people because theyre not in the same BMI range as you, that doesnt make you a good person or beautiful.
Glambert_lover 5
Than your just an ass!
mintcar 10
Did they blow the grenade horn? In all seriousness, don't feel too bad OP. They sound like superficial assholes...
RiotMany 0
it's snookie.
lakeybalboa 0
oh god