Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
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Top comments
Crea8urWorld 5
you should of looked at your friends and said 'it's okay, I got the ugly one this time'
marinus_fml 20
Taking one for the team! He deserves a ******* medal.
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Comments (209)
LizzieLizz18 4
LMAO FYL :)
LizzieLizz18 4
FYL cos you're probly not that fat. And they sound like asses.... But YDI for talking to them....
ryno101 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
time to hit the gym fatty!
Iamnotmyself 17
Say "well looks like we reeled in the ugly ones again, so how are your 2 inchers?" Aughta shut them up
prince122 0
lol her name is grenade.... JERSEY SHORE!!!
mycookiezz 0
Hes definitely a trooper! lmao!
StudMuffinette 17
26- lmao!!
iPoopMusic 0
He took one for the team.
LordGoober 13
the one who takes the fat girl home= team player
WallyTheWombat 0
Start hanging out with fatter girls so you look thin in comparison.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I find this fake. Let me explain why. When was the last time (guys) you walked up to a group of chicks without a game plan in someway. Not only that, but in most clubs down here, it's extremely loud, so he would have to be yelling for her to hear that. If anyone finds something that I might have overlooked, please do tell me.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
that's why I use you, Wally
ariannaa_fml 17
haha agreed. hang out with more chicks on the plus side and look thinner. another thing to help is wear pants your size so your stomach doesn't look big.
redbluegreen 41
Fat girls hang out with skinny girls to look skinnier. Skinny girls hang out with fat girls for the same reason.
whyXD 13
Look at the bright side..........hmmmm.......mmmm.....forget it.
tatababe 1
looks like he really got you
Sippin_koolaid 0
What a team player. He should be rewarded. Maybe that nights escapades could count towards community service hours?
Crunch_Captain 1
well at least you can tell your friends that they shouldn't talk to these guys cause their obviously flirts since one of the guys said "I'll take the fat one THIS TIME" but yeah fyl....
SeaMen 3
oh god wat a team player...someone get this man a medal or something he deserves a hug
edogy 0
ugh! I hate with a passion when people try to act like there a part of jersey shore. I'm from new jersey and people always say online that they think I'm a fat, short, orange, un-educated girl, just like all the girls on the show. what they don't know is I'm 11 years old, and I'm an honor student. sorry people reading this I just want all of you to know that not all girls from Jersey are fat ******. love, Emma?
edogy 0
freaking auto-correct! it wasn't a question mark!
cyanne_fml 7
Thats Messed Upp TO sayy LIKE yur NOT perfect I Can Tell By YuR Photo That Yur Stuborn And Yuu ThINK yur Hot But YuR really not FAGGET!!!
yaldo_fml 0
Cuz bro, I'd take the grenade for ya!!!!
d4_user 5
lol you assume she's probably not fat based on the sole known datum of her having been called fat by a stranger op deserves it because fat is a choice. if you're born ugly, fyl; but if you're a fatty, you're just lazy and weak.
924halle 8
How can you be an honors student if you're only 11?
GrandmaPearl 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think it's time for a diet...
baddud300 6
well..? atleast he talked to you?
mfmylifesrsly 30
I'm tired of people saying OP needs to diet when we have no idea what she looks like. (refer to my reply to 8)
ImNotAHomosexual 3
Well it's an Fml. The only reason to get offended is if she thinks there is some truth to the comment so obviously she is insecure about her body so she should change it if she isn't proud of what she looks like.
juicedboi 7
Well every squad needs a trooper to jump on a live grenade, it's a war zone out there! But in all seriousness don't take it to heart. I am sure you are sane enough to look in the mirror and see that you need to either lose some weight or that you are happy with your body image. As long as you are happy with your look don't worry about what us men say. Cos let's face it, we are all pretty shallow with first impressions.
gogreen8856 0
2- I think it's insensitive of you to say that she needs to diet when you don't know her situation. have a heart will ya!
EffTrae 0
hey hey hey. big girls need love too
MuchDance90s 0
90, that post sure evolved.
iDunbChild 2
Is that picture of you, for your profile picture??
Rx7GtrCgtGto 0
jenny Craig, weight watchers, Planet fitness, see you've got options or u could of just told him to go F his self
im_awsome 2
he is a man ***** . don't pay attention to anything he says
Garyy_fml 11
I think a gigalo would be a man *****.
captainbj2 0
totally Agee...don't pay attention to his skanky ass... you deserve better. hope you told him off
Tektite 14
Agreed!
MizzErikaHart 8
at least u gettin some love, don't complain. especially if you went along with it...
Symmetry88 0
you fail
amuck 0
agreed!!! :D
bluetiger105 0
Maybe he likes girls with a bit of meat on their bones.
LeoIma 0
I know I do. but not to fat.
whatweaimfor 0
Not your fault, most guys at clubs are d-bags anyways.
Beebow_fml 5
Most of the time, it's your own fault for being fat and not being able to control a simple thing like appetite. And they stay fat when they can't admit it's their fault and they try to blame it on otger causes.
mfmylifesrsly 30
64 - you do realize a lot of guys are idiots and don't know what fat is right? I was once a size 7 (I'm 5'7 1/2") and my ex thought I was plus size. WTF
some_shit 0
well then u need to find someone who likes that or loose some weight
omgcookeys 15
not Barney Stintson! he's pure awesome. (how I met your mother, btw)
a_nutritionist 10
@8 thats true, but then so are most girls. clubs in general are just full of douchebags.
ColtsDoug18 0
take it as a sign.. change is needed
drunkinstl 0
your pic is awesome, I lol'd
ItsApril 0
Says the guy growing up to be one of "douches" LMAO
khaosblade91 6
Lmao at your pic... Gotta look or it!
ColtsDoug18 0
take it as a sign.. change is needed
marinus_fml 20
Taking one for the team! He deserves a ******* medal.
milfagawea 7
he took the grenade for the team
h0ward076 0
ur an idiot just because quoting the jersey shore idiot...