Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Crea8urWorld 5
you should of looked at your friends and said 'it's okay, I got the ugly one this time'
marinus_fml 20
Taking one for the team! He deserves a ******* medal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
XxIVIODZxX 6
YDI
Booda13 0
lmao ydi haha fatty
galacticusmaximu 0
he obviously thinks you are sexy or he wouldn't have volunteered like that. maybe he didn't see it as taking one for the team. and maybe all your friends are uglier. I hope you went with it
DRE140 0
fatty
CuteSurprise1 0
Aww, don't feel bad about it. If he really did say that he's just another superficial jerk. don't listen to it, I bet you're perfect. :)
bfflrhea 0
its okay op.. im sure youre not fat, he's just a douche.
CJShults 0
don't expect us to feel sorry for you if you actually are fat
kaykay9080 5
Hit the gym fat ass.
Cenobyte 10
Odd though, that he just up and offered to take the fat one. No one had to tell him to or try to convince him. Its almost as if he was really eager. I hope you turned him down. Sounds like the kind of guy who tries to break a girls confidence, so that she feels that she isn't good enough to find anyone else. That way she is completely reliant on him and he can treat her like garbage.
jacobiscool 0
fat bitch