Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
AiDen2 2
Professor Oak." Are you a boy or girl?"
daringtoride 27
Come on, OP - you definitely deserved that.
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Comments (53)
AiDen2 2
First comment :D
daringtoride 27
Come on, OP - you definitely deserved that.
oj101 33
Why is it such a bad thing? There is nothing wrong with ****/bisexuality.
ewang_ 12
Nobody is coming on OP
spekledworf 18
44- That is true, but there is something wrong with OP's lack of respect for people. I'm sorry but I was raised better than to make comments like that, whether someone can hear them or not.
DanielleinDC 34
No, but there is something wrong with commenting on people's body parts, especially if the person can hear you. YDI, OP. This will teach you to comment on people's body parts in public.
Alexweber929 14
Some girls like it, as long as its done with taste
Pikachu17 13
44- because we're assuming he's straight since he wants to think its a girl's ass
NINJAKITTY12345 11
But he isn't gay, look at his name.
decidedlyvague 11
He just appreciates a nice ass. Did you sniff it?
Growlithe1395 20
But saying that the girl had a nice ass by saying "Damn sher got a hot ass" is completely disrespectful.
AiDen2 2
Professor Oak." Are you a boy or girl?"
hama806 19
Hey a perfect ass is a perfect ass no matter how you slice it. Don't worry about it OP.
iammeorami 25
how did Pokémon come into an FML where a guy says a guys ass looks nice
KittyWantMilk 4
Pokemon finds its way into everything..don't question it.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
A wild Pokemon reference appears!
alcostonez 7
It says he's a guy so clearly he's a man, well done
NikkiRainbow63 31
Wow #3. That was simply onixpected.
Hillaryy789 9
Btw, that doesn't make you gay. You were just admiring an ass that just happened to belong to a guy..
jojimugo 20
Yea true but dude you're still admiring a dudes Ass, that doesn't really scream straight does it ?
empath 20
35. You seem so threatened at the thought of seeing the back of another mans jeans. It's clear you've done it a time or two before, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We aren't the westboro baptist church, it's okay to be gay. It's a shame you locked yourself back up in that closet. I'm sure under all that homophobia you're Fabulous!
RpiesSPIES 27
This FML reminds me of Master of Disguise... Wouldn't be surprised if it was fake. Unless the guy was skinny and had well-kept hair, YDI.
SoSickWithIt 14
Or what if the guy just doesn't think looking at a dudes ass is very straight? When I was a kid.. I yelled out, "That girl is so hot." As we were passing by people standing on the street... My step mother informed me it was a tranny. I was mortified.. But if you think you're looking at a woman, and you get sexually aroused or the sexual attraction is there, it's ok, because you think it's a woman. Once you find out its a dude, and if you're still attracted.. That's when I think there may be a bit of a problem. Unless you wanna be gay?
alcostonez 7
Can't really 'wanna be gay'
zingline89 18
"Yeah, he must work out."
retyi43 14
damn! you beat me to it
Grootensliven 10
Best movie ever
rasta76 9
what movie reference is this I've heard it before?
zingline89 18
Dumb and Dumber.
ThePieGuy0817 29
Now picture an alternate scenario, in which the person in front of you overheard this conversation. Consider, then, how much more awkward it could have been.
pickles1994 18
Make sure to check the whole SHEbang first. YDI.
Rddvl 11
well that's one way to sound obnoxious. YDI
screenager5 35
That's just awkward. Nothing gave it away, like some butch hair or a lack of curves? Hopefully he didn't hear you!
klovemachine 24
"Today, a guy behind me said I had a nice butt. He must have thought I was a girl. FML"
PunkySpunky78 15
What is butch hair?
tymarie2012 31
Hair doesn't always tell you what gender someone is..
screenager5 35
That's why I also mentioned a lack of curves. Sometimes that doesn't help either, and then it's just awkward. Like I also said.
kieralumina 30
the only way to really know is to either ask, or use facial structure. I used to think the curve thing would work. there are a lot of times when it doesn't
rkmn8r 6
at least you didn't slap it as you walked by
iammeorami 25
haha that would be really funny