they're**

Sadly, though you have a valid argument, people would rather get others to change through humiliation rather than encouragement.. because most people are just ****** up that way.

I totally agree with you 119. It's such crap. And soooo many people act like losing weight is an easy thing when it can be one of the hardest things you ever do in your life. People just don't understand what it's like and how hard it is.

"why is it okay to make us feel shitty about ourselves and it's not okay to do that to anyone else?" first, you dont occupy the body of anyone else, you have no idea what its like for them. thats an assumption, nothing more. oh i know, you "asked your friend whos fat" but perhaps your friend doesnt give a shit what people say about their weight, and you do. second, everyone gets insulted, ive never once seen a skinny person insulted and someone step in to say 'woah now, this is a skinny girl, insult the fat ones all you like but insulting skinny girls is totally inappropriate. third, promiscuity is insulted far more frequently than weight. sexuality is insulted far more frequently than weight. vegetarianism is insulted far more frequently than weight. complain all you like about treatment, dont go acting like you get it so much worse than everyone else.

I'm an overweight female, as well, which is why I use pronouns such as "we" and "us". Most overweight females I know get or have gotten the exact same treatment somewhere along the line. It seems to me, though, (and this is the point that I was trying to make), that overweight females get MORE bad treatment than everyone else. Yeah, everyone gets insulted, but overweight women seem to get insulted MORE. Situations like the one in the FML don't usually happen to people because of people's sexual orientation, being a vegetarian, or being promiscuous. It happens who girls who society has deemed not acceptable. Weight is almost always an issue in these situations; it doesn't matter if the girl is pretty or not -- if she's fat, she's unacceptable by society's standards. I've even had overweight men tell me I'm undesirable simply because I'm not thin, and other plus size women I know have had the same things happen to them. I've been in OP's spot several times, and it SUCKS. Unless YOU'VE been there, you would not understand.

im aware youre an overweight female. as i said, you dont know what its like for anyone else, because you arent them. you dont KNOW that you get worse treatment than anyone else. you THINK you do. i was clearly referring to "Overweight men don't get near the crap that overweight women do" when i mentioned your friend who is fat. you arent an overweight male. you arent a skinny male/female. claiming how bad you have it compared to everyone else is simply annoying when you have no idea. you then followed it up by repeating the point, good for you. oh yes, situations like THIS are the only ones in which people get insulted. give me a break. posts about "my life is so much harder than anyone elses" are just plain ignorant. "Unless YOU'VE been there, you would not understand." naw, thanks for reaffirming my point.

I'm mostly talking about society's standards, not necessarily what actually happens. I realize that overweight men get crap, too. However, how often do you hear about overweight men being the "grenade"? I had never even heard that term until I read this FML, and so many people are thinking about this girl that way. That's just so wrong; how do you think it feels to be told that when you walk into the club, usually the only reason a guy goes for you is so the rest of his friends don't have to "settle" for you? Or they just assume that you're easy because you're fat, and apparently being fat means you don't have enough dignity and self respect to not sleep with every man that pays your some sort of attention. THAT is the kind of treatment I'm talking about and why I'm putting emphasis on the situation at hand. And it doesn't have to be fat women, but weight was brought up as an issue because the FML has to do with the girl's weight. It could simply be a less attractive, thin female. I have never heard of a man being in this kind of situation, and if he has been in this situation, then I definitely feel for him. I'm not ignorant to other people's tribulations, and I probably shouldn't say that fat girls have it worse than everyone else; that is a big time generalization. However, how many times do you hear about the "token fat/ugly chick" vs the "token fat/ugly guy"? Overweight women (and less attractive females) have horrible reputations, and its just as bad of a stereotype as saying all black men are criminals or all Mexicans are dirty, or all people from the south practice incest. It's wrong, and it needs to stop.

yeah see most of that was just rambling. i was pointing out that you shouldnt be claiming their situation is worse than everyone elses. "I'm not ignorant to other people's tribulations, and I probably shouldn't say that fat girls have it worse than everyone else; that is a big time generalization." theres the one line from all of that that needed to be posted. no if, buts or "However"s.

It's not rambling; it needs to be said. People don't realize how much it hurts when they say the things they do. Discrimination against ANYONE is not okay, and that's the bottom line.