Today, I've known that I'm too nice for a long time, so I've been trying to become more assertive. Unfortunately, my Avoidant Personality Disorder is not receptive to the idea. For those of you who don't know, a crippling sensitivity to criticism and rejection is the most prominent symptom. Fuck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, since I've been told (and am well aware) that I'm too nice, I've been trying to become more assertive. The only trouble is that I find it to be almost impossible, especially because my friends are always asking what my problem is when I stand up for myself. Isn't this what you wanted? FML
Today, I actually felt good after being rude to someone. My avoidant personality disorder and social anxiety have made me like such a goddamn pushover that standing up for myself in any way, right or wrong, makes me feel proud of myself. FML
Today, I am a grown ass man and I cry when someone is slightly rude to me. I pretend to own my extreme emotional sensitivity, but when push comes to shove, I hate it. I wish I could be more assertive but I just can't. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I’m too damn nice. I bought a cart of groceries for someone who was asking for help buying food outside a grocery store, so now I get to deal with the self-hatred that comes with being too nice for my own good. Again. FML
Today, I failed my nursing clinical for, "being too nice". FML
Today, I got to endure another "fun" team-building personality test. Like usual, it said I was defensive and using a belief that I can't follow conversations. I literally can't due to auditory processing issues. My coworkers keep assuring me it's safe to open up. Fuck psychology. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML
Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML
Today, I took a test to see if I may have avoidant personality disorder, and if I do, how strong those traits are, as expressed by a percentage based on your answers. I got an 82% when I lied on a few questions, and a 93% when I was completely honest. I think I'd be forgiven for self diagnosing myself here. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Although I am very happy in a sense and feel that there is finally an explanation for the past, this issue is not conducive to my adjustment to society. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Working to improve yourself and set boundaries is difficult and can take years to get right, but it’s also something that can be lifechanging when you get the hang of it. The important bit is that you’re trying. For what it’s worth, this internet stranger is genuinely wishing you the best.
kcountry92 15
right there with ya friend! sucks some days but count whatever progress you make, as a win.
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Comments (2)
Anderling 33
Working to improve yourself and set boundaries is difficult and can take years to get right, but it’s also something that can be lifechanging when you get the hang of it. The important bit is that you’re trying. For what it’s worth, this internet stranger is genuinely wishing you the best.
kcountry92 15
right there with ya friend! sucks some days but count whatever progress you make, as a win.