Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML
Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I feel hung over. Don’t feel up to anything except slouching on the sofa, nursing my headache. Must have been one hell of a party, lots of booze, right? Actually, all I did was go to bed at 11:30 last night, instead of my usual 8:30. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML
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Top comments
iSometimes 5
lol, you don't HAVE to drink to go clubbing.
DivineGarden 0
ydi for wanting to club baby seals
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Comments (82)
iamsam2 3
epc fail. check ur money b4 u spend
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Awww whine whine whine. OP you drank yourself to sleep. Where's the FML? Lame lame lame lame.
Lucidium 0
Lol nice going.
cockymofo 10
ydi for being a cheap bastard
PimpdaddyCJT 13
hahaha ur cheap
honda1997 0
wellfair much
mintcar 10
2, welfare? What are you talking about? And OP, next time don't pre-game while sleepy.
I_have_no_clue 0
Education much?
sheribb 5
awwww poor u that's depressing!
FFML_314 12
Your life would really be ****** if you had a nightmare. It's *welfare and why would you assume OP is on welfare?
honda1997 0
you don't know what I mean by welfare I mean by the fact that he fell asleep on the couch and shit like dat...
FFML_314 12
Do you even know what Welfare is?
iron_chefITALY 0
that's something my grandpa would do. old people do ANYTHING to save money. that and they love free stuff.
I_have_no_clue 0
Saving money is something smart, responsible people do. And who doesn't lover free stuff?
I_have_no_clue 0
*love
I_have_no_clue 0
*love
I_have_no_clue 0
*love
anorexicbarbie 8
He spelled it right.
anorexicbarbie 8
Oh nevermind, stupid comment bug I thought you were correcting the guy talking about old people.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
25: saving money might be smart. Going out for no other reason than to intoxicate yourself (if there was another reason, he wouldn't have to pre-drink) is not.
iSometimes 5
lol, you don't HAVE to drink to go clubbing.
molil_4810 0
isnt the whole point of going to a club to drink and not get wasted b4 hand?!!!??!???
spiderbesideher 0
what club do you go to? oh, that one.... well if i were you...i'd...
mintcar 10
9, its called pre-gaming. You drink before heading out to a club or party. Besides, club drinks are expensive.
hb215 2
18, it's called stfu. 9 said that he/she didn't need to drink to go clubbing not that he/she didn't know what pre gaming was...
TNB_xACiDiC 0
Lol Bahahah! Fail xD
Djosef_fml 0
Yes, very fail. You have a problem with alchool, OP.
FYLDeep 26
Don't get this one. If you were trying to save money by drinking beforehand, how did you end up broke if you never left?
Imsosexayyy 0
because someone stole all his money while he was knocked out?
T1A2Z3 35
Did they change the FML? I see nothing about him being broke. Just someone who wants to be drunk for some reason...
spiderbesideher 0
no biggie, shit happens i've done that too, to save money and mostly to save time. why procrastinate? get drunk now and save time later
ActionManly 11
Never, ever drink at home alone. It is the most depressing thing you can think of, even if it's just to drink alcohol whilst all your friends are out drinking alcohol. Do something awesome like start a fort war with your funiture or something, I dunno.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
I never understood that. Why is it so much better to drink in a club than at home? The whole purpose of drinking is to get drunk. Drinking at home has so many advantages. For example, if you do something stupid, you're the only one that knows about it. You don't have to worry how to get home. It's much cheaper. Because everything is funny while drunk, you can have about as much fun just watching youtube videos. There's no chance anyone (besides yourself) pukes on you. The toilet is always aviable without standing in a line. If you damage anything, it will be your stuff that's damaged so you don't have to fear getting in trouble with the police. Nothing's even tempting you to drive drunk. and so on and so forth. The only disadvantage would be to not have people to talk to, but all the clubs do their best to keep people from talking to each other by having bad music at full force so that you can' even understand someone right next to yourself when he's shouting as loud as he can. Also, you wouldn't be able to make any kind of meaningfull conversation while drunk. I don't usually drink (except for special occasions) and I hate clubbing, so what am I missing here? Drinking at home seems much more rational and there aren't really any good reasons against it (besides the social stigma) as far as I can see..
tgringe 0
what is up with your essay - the reason he drank at home was to save money - alcohol is expensive in clubs. We don't need to hear your life story.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you need to learn what replies are and how they're stacked. It wasn't directed at OP but at #14.
Djosef_fml 0
No really, we don't need to hear your life story.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
too bad that wasn't a live story. It was a question. I case you're wondering, there's a difference, moron.