Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.
swaneh 0
Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.
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Comments (143)
snafu57 1
take some vaginal lube and cover the bottom of the tub before he gets in there to shower. dishwashing liquid (clear) will work as a distant second
snafu57 1
#12thank you, Mr President.
zombieboy_fml 0
Not only would that kid be paying for the stiches, but also doing yard work/cleaning intil he's 30
jamieboy11 0
smart kid lol
mrjohnz 0
the kid just produced an epic win, in my book.
lobbyskids2 0
glad I'm not American. in the uk it's all free :-D
EDRN 0
yea, heaven forbid if you need diagnostic testing, such as an MRI. you'll die waiting for it.
Wolfman_Paladin 0
lol. ya id much rather pay for my tests and get them when i need them, not ten years later
arabianhorse1234 0
Although that does suck, I'm kinda tempted to say YDI for not noticing the ice.
kaykay25 0
wow thts a bad joke
kelleyb323 0
you deserve it for not keeping an eye on your kid. plus you obviously didn't raise him well if he thinks it's funny when you get hurt.
rosea888 0
haha pranks gone bad are ****** hilarious! sometimes..... lmao