Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.
swaneh 0
Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.
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Comments (143)
rugbyboy87 0
haha stupid Americans and having to pay for health care
keoct 4
HaHa agreed
Person1233 13
Healthcare is America's only setback. The only people that complain are the bums without insurance.
shadaboo2014 0
we aren't stupid u r stupid cuz we r the best n only poor ppl can't pay healthcare...not out fault ur poor!!
keoct 4
Look if you’re going to try to call other people stupid the least you could do is try to sound less retarded then you are right now. it’s not u it’s you it’s not ppl it’s people, look you may just be lazy or my may in fact be retarded I don’t know nor do I care but I know not to take anything you say to value because of the way you type.
tman9497 0
I don't fine that funny what if you had died you should teach your son a lesson something that he won't forget
ALegitNinja 0
Depends on how old the son is. If he's like six, than he won't know. Teach him. Anyway, snickerdoodles, everyone basically hates you because of your typo thing, so I think you should lay low for a while.
Jny_fml 0
$100 for an emergency room visit? Where? It should be at least $400.
LordArion201 0
beat the shit outta that snot, and ground him. u should also have payed for the stitches with his allowance (assuming he has one)
twilighthotty 0
tht sucks hopebu feel better!
anal_puke_664 0
teabag your kid while it sleeps
shadaboo2014 0
it?!?
johnts03 8
I'm I the only one who thinks all the FMLs of people slipping on ice are getting old? At least once a day I read a FML that goes something like this: "Today, I slipped on ice and hit my head. FML" It was kind of funny when it happened in Home Alone. Now, not so much.
thedoodiemaster 0
groud that little bastard
tazz9690 0
that's not bad. I cut my finger and got 4 stitches and that totalled to $600 for me.