Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML
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Top comments
toooldforthis 19
Do you have to wear a plastic bag on your head now?
DontClickOnMe 28
You should've tried and stuck your foot out of the shower. Oh well, but I hope you get better soon, OP!
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Comments (107)
DontClickOnMe 28
You should've tried and stuck your foot out of the shower. Oh well, but I hope you get better soon, OP!
bacon1043 3
That profile pic gives me nightmares
KM96 24
Its just so creepy!
kwchambers92 10
Karma will make my first child look like that
JocelynKaulitz 28
Now wear that bag over your head with pride.
Jaxx66 21
You should have just taken a bath, would have been safer.
BeatifulPenguin 4
No wait! There's more!!! After that, the plastic on OP's forehead caused them to stop thinking straight, then they thought they were Batman! The rest is a blur...
BeatifulPenguin 4
By the way, #44, that's not actually a horrible idea! In my opinion, you should do that, OP.
Luerna 13
A good trick I did when I broke my toe was wear a larger sock over the bag. It kept the bag on, sealed at the top, but also made it so I didn't slip!
Objectofdespair 1
Guess you shoulda thought "ahead"
snnoell_18 1
oh jeez...
toooldforthis 19
Do you have to wear a plastic bag on your head now?
Kev_Chr 4
genius!
galt 13
I was gonna comment that haha :p
Matty1188 6
Well played, ma'am. Well played.
EricaGravalec 2
I was gonna say that haha
1094568 1
I am gay... Were u gonna say that too 82?
furordei 2
Aw I was gonna say that
xXCherrryBombXx 6
my thoughts exactly
Objectofdespair 1
Lol. That would kinda kill him....
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Dude it's called a reply button. Try it sometime. :)
SpottedZebra42 14
^ Are you my mommy?
BeatifulPenguin 4
Not necessarily kill him... It obviously put him in a whole bunch of pain though.
yayforcheesecake 0
Should have taken a bath, dumbass.
RussianFox 13
And soak in his own filth?
Jaxx66 21
It's safer for OP obviously. But depending on the shower it wouldnt of been so bad. like mine has a detachable shower head, so I'd of washed my hair with that while my foot hung over.
yayforcheesecake 0
What do you think people did before running water? They took baths. They just did it regularly so they weren't filthy. Not everyone is as filthy as you. Take a shower fool.
RussianFox 13
No need to be so hostile. Control your anger, it was just a lousy comment.
Axipiter 24
Agreed 6. I just got finished having to do the same thing for seven weeks, and I never slipped once taking a bath.
Badab1ng 5
This is the perfect thread to market my new feet condoms...
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Condoms... For your feet?... Sir, where can I invest in some shares for this?
angelinaanimerg 7
Omg good idea they could of worn an xl condom on their foot!!!!
petlover7598 7
It's a good idea as long as the condoms aren't lubed. Otherwise, many others will be in the same condition as OP.
RedPillSucks 33
Ribbed for her pleasure?
benhd1 14
I assume this so for people with a foot fetish? I guess it's not for me then.
Goatinsfriend 8
Hopefully you learned your lesson, but still - ouch.
goatlovesllama 5
I once had a double-ER visit myself. When I was in elementary school, I went swimming in the pool outside. I was under water, and hit my head on the side of the pool coming up for air. I split my chin open and needed 6 stitches. Less than 24 hours later, I fell off a rock at my best friends house and broke my nose. They questioned me to make sure my parents weren't beating me XD
missalkali 8
I also split my chin once! when I was about 6, we had these widow type things between two rooms in my house and I was standing in one of them and fell. I had to get stitches. one of my favorite stories to tell!! but that's the only time I had an ER visit... thank G-d!!
downtime 13
I also have a boring story about injuring myself! I was trailing off in a sentence and hoping nobody would notice when...
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
...when what dammit?!
punkkitteh1 0
My friend split her chin open twice. First time she crashed her bike, don't remember the second. You can still the the scar and the imprint of each individual stitch. :(
missalkali 8
35- ...when someone whacked him on the head with a 2x4 for making fun of them ;) and 31- that sentence wasn't trailing off. the "..." was for effect. which apparently it didn't have. oops. my bad. cuz I care ever so much
CryMoreFMLs 15
I had a dock pylon nail go into my leg and tear a big hole in it. Took 24 stitches, and I have a giant Y on my leg with a dent.
Axipiter 24
You had widows in your house? Sounds like a grand party.
iknowimawesome 13
Last summer while stepping over the dishwasher, a knife sort of stabbed my leg and I had to get stitches... I'm an idiot. I know.
ninjadinos 14
Damn showers, those things are death traps, I swear. You don't even know how many concussions I've gotten from falling in the shower. And that's without any plastic...
twisted_cherub 14
Ninjadinos, do not attempt shower sex, ever. It's difficult enough for most people to pull off safely, but I fear for your life in that situation. Although, it would make for an interesting FML. No, wait. I stand by my first advice. Your health is top priority. Don't do it.
downtime 13
13, The answer shouldn't be more than one...
Shoone_fml 5
No concussion for me :P Shiwers are a death trap..
iseyixes 18
Way to run up some hospital bills. On the bright side you have a lot of cool new nicknames to choose from: Hopper, Scar, Slippy, Head Banger....