Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
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Top comments
homedoggieo 0
Since she's already repayed you for it, I say hunt her down and bang her boyfriend. :D
Good_old_Grim 8
Just call the cops - angry people leave tons of evidence. The bitch will be caught in no time.
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Comments (73)
DanishDude 0
me too so let´s hook up :)
merri_fml 0
I am SO sorry to hear that poster! FYL for sure! Call the police as soon as you can though, because the quicker they get to the scene and search for evidence the more likely it is that they'll find large and traceable things such as hair or finger prints.
triplethreat13 0
i saw an FML just like this a week ago, and it was the story as told by the egger's point of view. FAKE
Kiki_2_u 0
I call a FAKE to your Fake. I read FML's daily. And i would have seen it.
tehgeorgeh 0
Me too. Not fake.
biteyourtongue 0
I read it too. However, it said they missed the car, hit the driveway and just looked stupid or something =/. I don't think they're connected. And I'm sure there's been more than one person/group of people to ever egg a car.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#17, were you born that way or did you just hit your head? Crazy bitches egg cars EVERY DAY. Just because some other crazy bitch tried to do it elsewhere is no reason for you to be a douche and cry fake to something that's obviously not fake. What are you, 10 years old??? Moron.
plexico 4
Maybe you weren't having sex with the guy, but "stop banging my boyfriend" has a lot more zing and punch than "Please stop having a clandestine, emotionally intimate platonic friendship with my boyfriend." Don't ya think?
BLNovelist 0
Even though Plexico's posts usually just make me shake my head, I actually somewhat agree with this one. I wonder if the OP was close friend's with the boyfriend - this random attack would make a lot more sense if that's the case. If that isn't the case, that makes the girlfriend even crazier then I initially thought.
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
YDI for having sex with someone's boyfriend. You ****, don't you have any sort of morales or shame? I hope you get beaten like the sad, sad **** that you are.
bexox 0
Your name really fits you.
OhCaLA 1
Wow. Way to read.
izziec2501 0
#28...Can't you read? It says she has gone a year without having sex. You should get your story straight before calling people *****. For the record...it's so obvious that your boyfriend banged somebody else and you are still bitching about it. Keep your mouth shut sometimes, now everyone knows you can't hold on to a man.
Subtext 10
What is it with you people egging cars or houses for revenge? Is it some American thing? I've never seen something like that here... Here we do it the old-fashioned way...we burn the witch! (Metaphorically. Of course we just ruin the reputation of the other person. Or beat them up if the intellect isn't sufficient...)
yaktazuki 0
This would be even funnier if the OP was a guy
a_cad_1 0
Pre emptive strike?
GR3453m0nk3y 4
#28 wtf??? are you mentally challenged or something?!? i think reading is a little too complicated for you maybe you should do something a little easier like taking too many pills and killing yourself, which would be really easy for you because you obviously cant read