Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
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Top comments
homedoggieo 0
Since she's already repayed you for it, I say hunt her down and bang her boyfriend. :D
Good_old_Grim 8
Just call the cops - angry people leave tons of evidence. The bitch will be caught in no time.
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Comments (73)
waterynuggets 0
WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG
AlexZB 0
looks like you stopped
Teecuppit3a 0
FYL not because your car was attacked (although that is terrible too), but because you haven't had sex in a year. Sorry.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Well OP, it could be worse. I haven't had any in three after coming out of a nightmare relationship, and I have a crazy bitch that is firmly convinced I slept with her husband. She must have a great bunch of friends around here, because no one will tell me who she is. She's followed me to every job I've gotten since I moved back home, and gotten me fired from two and was part of my firing in three more. :(
LilithHellfire 0
I moderated this seriously thats so ******* messed up its not even funny probably the girl who actually was having sex with her boyfriend blamed it on you so they wouldn't have to face her
nightDREAMERms 6
You know I never understand the "girlfriend" in these situations. As if getting so-called "revenge" on the other woman is going to a) Make you the better person, b) Purify your boyfriend of his misdeeds, or c) Going to prevent him from cheating on you again.
jr5480 0
OMG who goes over a year with out sex. Im really sorry to hear that....no for real.. lol
FML_DP 0
What the **** is with crazy girl friends and destroying cars!
circsur8604 0
that bitch is stupid as ****. unless you knew........
Uber_G33k 0
How do you 'bang' a boyfriend? Either the culprit didn't really think that note through, the OP is gay/bisexual, or this is all bull. They all make sense, actually.