Love: Making do

Making do

By green2black - 19/05/2010 07:09 - United States

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

agreeclassic 26 963

vote type 1 14 590

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By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

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By Doggotmytongue - 12/02/2013 21:50 - United States - Peoria

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

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By mrtoolate - 19/06/2016 08:58 - India - Pune

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

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BFF for life

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 20:30 - United Kingdom - Wokingham

Today, I'd been lonely for a while when I finally met a girl that is genuinely brilliant. She's all huggy, clingy and likes me back. Turns out she's a lesbian, so we can't be anything more. FML

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By fucking hate bitches - 24/12/2016 21:27

Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML

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By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

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By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

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By Anonymous - 09/12/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 23:02 - United States

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 00:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I learned that you shouldn’t announce on social media that you’re leaving on vacation for a week. Your house might get broken into, and all your electronics will be missing. They were kind enough to leave a note saying, “If you can afford a vacation, you can afford to replace all this shit. Have fun!” FML

agreeclassic 465

vote type 1 1 445

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

agreeclassic 27 423

vote type 1 2 448

Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML

agreeclassic 13 498

vote type 1 1 485

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

agreeclassic 13 825

vote type 1 60 641

Today, I found out that in September I will be expected to teach a student whose mother described as a more pedantic, nitpicky, annoying version of Sheldon Cooper. FML

agreeclassic 865

vote type 1 99

Today, one of my workmates had threatened to destroy my car completely if I fired him for low performance. I was actually shocked, not because of the threat, but because I don't have a car of my own. I don't know how to drive, either. FML

agreeclassic 935

vote type 1 118