Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML
Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That was un-eggs-spected. These stains are eggs-tremely eggs-asperating to eggs-tract. If you don't like my yolks, get ova yourself!
SirEnigM0nk 22
I wonder if the ex boyfriend was named Bumen, Al Bumen? Pretty hard boiled to egg her on. I guess the breakup didn't go over easy and left him shell-shocked.
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
That was un-eggs-spected. These stains are eggs-tremely eggs-asperating to eggs-tract. If you don't like my yolks, get ova yourself!
SirEnigM0nk 22
I wonder if the ex boyfriend was named Bumen, Al Bumen? Pretty hard boiled to egg her on. I guess the breakup didn't go over easy and left him shell-shocked.