Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML
Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
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Top comments
peve3 12
She's nine, so I'd just ignore her. If she's really annoying, say yes and tell her you'll send her a brochure for next year.
Trix_Disorder 20
Cousin. 9-year-old cousin. Reading comprehension, I swear. Goes right out the window when you're trying to get that first comment, huh?
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Comments (105)
gottageek 17
It's a cousin, as family it's acceptable to back hand them. Teach them to keep their remarks to themselves til they're old enough to have an opinion.
walmartpaysme 15
"old enough to have an opinion" What is wrong with you? Children should be allowed to have an opinion from any age. This is not about opinions. This is about a rude comment. That is not the same thing.
bizarre_ftw 22
I actually was never fond of the idea of saying "I'm just big boned" supposing that were true then if you ever really wanted to go all out and try to get a slim, toned body you'd be ****** I'm not saying you have to, bigger girls can still be unbelievably gorgeous, but if you ever wanted to you couldn't, and that's far more depressing to me than having a little more on you
ninjadinos 14
She probably just has 9-year old syndrome. A disorder all kids get that turn them into evil brats. Some kids just don't grow out of it...
Samandra 4
Or SHOULD'VE*. It sounds more like what you meant.
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
LOL!!!!!! Fatty
greenie213 23
"No, these are for you! We're putting you up for adoption! Isn't that exciting?"
xNephilim 19
My friend really is big-boned. He's also pretty overweight, but even with all that extra weight, you can still see his rib cage. If he was to get down to a weight that would be normal for someone his height, he'd look bony and disgusting, as all his bones would just stick out.
walmartpaysme 15
Ok so we should lie and say "I'm not big boned. I'm just fat." Yeah that sounds muuuuuuuuch better.
HelloGuys 4
Ok big boned is a term fat people use as an excuse, but i understand if your just bigger and "big boned" but i hate seeing a 509 pound person saying "im just big boned"
Nolander 0
Take the hint