Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML
Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
peve3 12
She's nine, so I'd just ignore her. If she's really annoying, say yes and tell her you'll send her a brochure for next year.
Trix_Disorder 20
Cousin. 9-year-old cousin. Reading comprehension, I swear. Goes right out the window when you're trying to get that first comment, huh?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
xplainphrox 8
Firstly - a 9 yr old KNOWS BETTER than to be making fun of others, so should of been grounded! Secondly - yeah. Don't let the jealous wanker tear you down!
Enslaved 38
I agree. That child is 9 not 3 or 4. At that age, they know what was said should be considered rude.
SenselessPattern 12
#20 Sorry, but can't pull double-standards even with decent comments. As per FML penal code 1234, "should of" causes high levels of grammatical stress among people and should have been 'should have'. Sorry about this.
annie_nk 23
I get the feeling "should of" is the new target for grammar nazi's.
iHeartRKO 5
Should of should of should of should of should of should of.
Elegance 7
A couple of bags? For a sleepover?! You may as well have been going to camp!
fuzz97 23
emphasis on the wink
klx125cross 9
Well if the shoe fits..... Where tit?
klx125cross 9
Don't I mean it......XD
esines 9
Don't you mean wear...?
ninjadinos 14
...I don't get it.
lizzybug 5
Irrelevant to the fml/comment but... I like your profile pic
tothenifty 1
So ur cousin thinks ur fat, and u probably are due to you writing this fml, so in other words u should consider fat camp...
hellya14 0
You and the cousin have a lot to learn. Op may be completely happy with the way they are and doesn't need ignorant and rude people ruining their day.
superswagbro 7
You should consider taking an English class.
porkpiehat 8
I'd have bitch slapped whatever sibling that kid belonged to.
chtychtybngbng 11
she said it was her cousin who said this to her. Therefore the child's parent would be OP's aunt/uncle not sibling.
walmartpaysme 15
Let me explain the family tree to you. The children of your siblings are called your nieces and nephews. A COUSIN is the child of your mother's or father's siblings a.k.a your aunt or uncle. So, you think OP should bitch slap their aunt or uncle? THAT is going to go over real nice with the family. Edit- wtf? Why didn't it show me that some else had already commented. Stupid phone.
nanpooo 6
Kids these days are rude. I fear for the future. Hopefully you had fun At the sleepover.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Should HAVE* I've seen people correct you for this multiple times :/
itzsydneyy 9
That's terrible.
kfusco20 0
That's funny! Ask if she wants to go with you next year!