Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure the local birdwatchers are jealous. Adidas Slides were thought to be extinct, but sightings in the wild are just very rare. Let your local ornithological society know that you saw one.
TwoBytesCarley 27
At least you didn’t see an Adidas slide only to realize it was a bird when a car hit it.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure the local birdwatchers are jealous. Adidas Slides were thought to be extinct, but sightings in the wild are just very rare. Let your local ornithological society know that you saw one.
TwoBytesCarley 27
At least you didn’t see an Adidas slide only to realize it was a bird when a car hit it.
Bogrbon 27
If s bird gets hot by a car at any speed beyond a parking lot, there is not going to be much more bird left to take care of.
Wadlaen 24
My first thought when I read this was the scene in Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, where he stops traffic to rescue a skunk.