Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
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Top comments
LOLYLIF 0
Aww.... Thats so cute, if not oddly disgusting.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Better safe than sorry, I always say.
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Comments (60)
sojo898 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=18732
SamSJester 0
Darn him for being so unromantic. There is nothing less romantic than being prepared...
jmanjonEs 0
This isent a fml this is funny u just hav to look at it like the little girl did Ooh flowers!... Ooh candles!...ooh ballons!!! Yes mah comment is stupid but ur ugly and atleast i could re wright it ur screwed =P... Im bored...
StealthStorm67 0
I agree. He should have just told her to come over to get ****** and dragged her up into his rom and ****** her like that. Shame on him for trying to be romantic for his girlfriend. I mean, rose-petals? Stupid asshole. He should have just scattered condoms and whatnot around the room.
EWKHou 0
Hey, if there were spares, no harm done.
sondramcfail 0
A "romantic night" - why was his sister there? o_o
antiflamer5 0
That's Texas for ya.
Ninjaface 0
Even if the balloon blowing wasn't "romantic," you should have at least gotten hot from the subliminal imagery. In fact, your boyfriend probably arranged for those balloons himself and the sister just couldn't finish them before you got there.
Brittan 0
Maybe you shouldn't be getting it on when his little sister is there. Hmmm... what would his mother think about that?
raithex 0
That would be seriously awkward. :b FYL, chicka.