Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
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Top comments
LOLYLIF 0
Aww.... Thats so cute, if not oddly disgusting.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Better safe than sorry, I always say.
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Comments (60)
lebrockshard 10
Ahhh kids... so cute :)
Skull_300 0
Next time he promises you a romantic evening, he'll try to bang you in the back seat of his dad's car instead of a bedroom in his parent's house.
Soulathyia 0
I agree with #10. There too young to be having sex if either if them have a 5 year old sister! Plus next week you'll be seeing one that says "We broke up FML"
ImTheAlpha 30
An 18 year old could have a five year old sister.
The_Mantis_19 0
Both you and him should have made sure that his little sister was not around during this time, perhaps sleeping or in her room watching TV. So it's both his and your fault.
RyeBreadBoy 0
They could be 14. I think it's perfectly fine if girls don't want to have sex at 14. That said, at least the guy was trying to be safe about it. I respect that.
jdkfgkjdfb 0
If the guy you're dating has a five-year-old sister, he's probably too young to be doing this sort of thing. And you probably should have made sure his sister wasn't anywhere near. FML, but YDI. She just wanted to help set the mood for a party! ;D
AeroChic777 4
My sister is 18 years older than me. He could be an older guy who just lives with his parents or something, but most likely, yes they are young.
helloyellowduck 0
Yeah, I'm 17 and my brother is 31. Just because she is 5 doesn't mean they're young.
riku3220 2
No, but the OP's boyfriend still living with his family does.
helloyellowduck 0
I live with my parents, and I have sex. My boyfriend also lives with his parents.
Leprecon 3
Rose petals and candles are romantic now ? You deserve it for a blatant lack of imagination.
StealthStorm67 0
I agree. He should have just told her to come over to get ****** and dragged her up into his rom and ****** her like that. Shame on him for trying to be romantic for his girlfriend. I mean, rose-petals? Stupid asshole. He should have just scattered condoms and whatnot around the room.
breath_water 0
wtf? it's funny, why did you write this as a fmylife? btw, petals and candles are major turn offs.
ugh_a_lug 7
agree with #60.