Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bengermin 5
Pow!! Right in the kisser!
DrDilllonReese 12
Aweee, how sweet!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
DrDilllonReese 12
Aweee, how sweet!
SaintVicious 2
Yea, that took some time and effort to set up.
DrDilllonReese 12
If he planned all that out, he clearly put a lot of thought into it.
DrDilllonReese 12
He's implying that he likes his cream on her face..
stroudie94 9
47- with sprinkles.
haniam16 6
Why do you look so familiar????? this is weird....
HaHa314 0
47. Good One.
Wimoweh 10
Damn, there's always a catch. Something like that happened to me back in Siberia, except instead of rose petals they were cats, and instead of whipped cream it was...let's just say there's always a catch.
bengermin 5
Pow!! Right in the kisser!
DrDilllonReese 12
This made me realize I missed the opportunity to say, "In the face!"
Nacole31 0
bahahaha!!!
zach630 0
Nice family guy reference
SkardeyKat 3
41 I was thinking the exact same thing when I read your comment!
FML_LOL_439 4
#108- probably because it was one of those jokes that were meant to remain unexplained so that it wouldn't take away from the humor. Some people don't like explaining them or having them explained.
bengermin 5
It's because Family Guy was referencing a YouTube video, like everything else, it was copped from something else.
wat3rlilly 1
I feel like Family Guy was referencing The Honeymooners. I could be wrong though.
DrDilllonReese 12
Or, I, was referencing The Hangover.
ILoveEggnog 7
Sounds mildly kinky.
Saltime 0
Ah, yes. Because of the words "whipped" and "cream". And "boyfriend".
ILoveEggnog 7
Yeah, I thought maybe she was talking in code.
ollie179 21
Aww your so romantic! SPLAT! Hahaha!
aliadnan708 6
Sorry I know it's messed up and all but it's funny
truwinna 0
Haha surprise!
Llamassss 21
Nothing says I love you like a pie to the face!
MichellinMan 20
Correction, paper plate with whipped cream and sprinkles.
Llamassss 21
That's all it is when you "pie" someone. It's not like you use pumpkin pie, apple pie, etc.
MichellinMan 20
85- I guess your right. Meh.
bizarre_ftw 22
You don't use pumpkin pie?! D: shit!!!! I have So many people to apologize to!!!!
bizarre_ftw 22
What about keylime? Is that okay?
Streeet_hayley 6
Why are you mad? That sounds delicious.
Calyx_fml 22
Nyuk nyuk nyuk...
Feklfekl2222 32
I think that's called true love.