Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
Yimpish 15
At least your mom didn't give you any of her toys
MyGFisaturd 23
****- the gift that keeps on giving
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Comments (70)
mcduckens 12
like father like son... does he have good taste?
emmeelgee 10
This will be a funny story later on and to be quite honest, he probably did it to embarrass you. :)
pjsr 33
Then again, he may just sincerely believe his son has no chance of getting real sex anytime time soon. FYL OP
askullnamedbilly 33
What does getting real sex have to do with ****? Most people who watch **** continue to do so while in relationships. Some even enjoy it with their partners.
MyGFisaturd 23
****- the gift that keeps on giving
gamermonster 34
Let me take a wild guess: you saw that on ifunny?
UserError94 18
I thought that was herpes....?
UserError94 18
Ohhh so maybe my girlfriend just has a **** collection that she got from her old boyfriend and not herps!!
Seabass_Chan 33
It was to people with a sense of humor.
brenton490 19
I thought it was the gift that keeps on cumming?
HoboMeth 36
Penis
beeferjay 34
her vagine hangs like sleeve of wizard
JazzHandsFML 28
is that a toilet in your profile picture? because your comment is shit.
cole_tyler42 21
No his comment is penis
Wendleman 8
Riviting commentary! This needed to be said!
ManUtdFan743 21
At least you know what mistakes not to make when you pass on the torch yourself UP. Haha.
sunsetium 14
It would be really awkward if your mom is in one of the pages.
dutchy86 20
here you are son.. and don't bother trying to open the sticky pages...
UncleCaitlyn 21
Were they crusty? But cherish those and give those to your son maybe it's been in the family for generations
Shane557 12
That'd be an interesting family heirloom for elementary (primary) school show and tell a couple generations down the line.
Yimpish 15
At least your mom didn't give you any of her toys
vikky538 29
That would be epic
paperbag77 9
do people like wait around for a new FML to be the first to post a clever comment o.O
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Yes.
dutchy86 20
nope...