Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
Yimpish 15
At least your mom didn't give you any of her toys
MyGFisaturd 23
****- the gift that keeps on giving
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Comments (70)
SecundusSecunda 27
With Playboy switching to no more nude pictures, the value of those magazines (assuming they are older, and belonging to Playboy) might go up!
Berber260 14
What's wrong with the timing? Be grateful
SecundusSecunda 27
Well, to me it would seem that giving your soon pornographic magazines at the dinner table, when everyone from the family is there and eating dinner, seems like the wrong time because these things are considered 'intimate' Therefore, it seems like an inappropriate time (to me)
dirty_dan_ 15
I hope no pages are stuck together...
rdenkewicz 11
You mean you don't feel the urge to jack off while eating dinner with your family? Pfff... Weirdo!
AllWells 10
Make sure to throw away the magazine with the sticky pages
Skycop_S 23
I accidentally read "Today, my dad turned 18" o_O
anastasiamp 12
Eww
AliWantsMarmite 10
**** IS BAD FOR YOU, That's a terrible gift
atlien247 16
More porno for horno!
Xion0014 20
Ew 70's **** isn't good compared to the variety you have on pornhub.