Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
Yimpish 15
At least your mom didn't give you any of her toys
MyGFisaturd 23
****- the gift that keeps on giving
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Comments (70)
Adam_Power58 16
Just hope none of the pages are stool together.....
ThrottleJockey 36
I'd it scat ****? Nasty!
scyth3s 13
jyst one typo per comment, eh?
Jones87 11
That's a little out of line.
stitesy29 18
Well happy birthday!
paperbag77 9
show him your collection of **** streaming sites and tell him to get with it !
Dean__Winchester 16
I'm not gonna lie, that'll be me as a parent...
FSGInsainity 15
What, get with the ages. Internet **** man, cum on.
AC98 19
At least the pages weren't stuck together
Richard6036 13
There is an appropriate time to give your child such a gift at the dinner table is not the appropriate time it sounds like your father not only lacks class but also discretion
andrmac 25
I think you just mean tacked?
zacular06 1
I don't think you can judge a person from this one example, you sound like a dick but that very well might not be the case
theken90 4
Haha well i think is funny family
bad_boyfriend 10
At least no Polaroids of mom fell out from between the pages.
thatguy240 27
Doesn't he know everything is digital now.