Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Today, I said that I'm not okay with my body. I'm not extremely obese, just gained some pounds, but it bugs me. My wife told me to search opportunities instead of excuses, and go to the f*ing gym. I'm still recovering after a serious accident and surgery, and I can't walk yet. FML
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Top comments
aquaeyedsiren 0
dude, she's your wife... she doesn't give two shots about how many pushups you can do... esp with a bad shoulder. next time either try phenomenal sex or just do the Damn dishes
unicornsglitter 0
We Never win.
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Comments (120)
iloveweed69 7
I agree with your wife
chels1994 11
She's your wife, you've (apparently) already impressed her enough
jad07 0
Worst idea ever your now lower than you already were in her head. Congratulations she now thinks even less of you!
kingdomercury 5
Your wife's a dick, bro.
thatsmylyfe 13
TOTALLY AGREE
jennasaurus91 0
I bet she would be more impressed if you cooked her a meal or did some housework
Elizabeth198 1
Don't impress her she will love you for whatever you do. Don't sweat it. Just focus on your shoulder, best wishes :D
cuddlebunny3548 11
Awwww, he meant well :(
Mackenzie99 6
Jeeze she's supportive -_- lol id like to see her do one
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Perhaps sit-ups next time?
akiraina 4
Well that was stupid