Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Today, I said that I'm not okay with my body. I'm not extremely obese, just gained some pounds, but it bugs me. My wife told me to search opportunities instead of excuses, and go to the f*ing gym. I'm still recovering after a serious accident and surgery, and I can't walk yet. FML
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Top comments
aquaeyedsiren 0
dude, she's your wife... she doesn't give two shots about how many pushups you can do... esp with a bad shoulder. next time either try phenomenal sex or just do the Damn dishes
unicornsglitter 0
We Never win.
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Comments (120)
Pentium_4 27
ouch dude, not a good idea but at least you tried...my gf was bored once so i told her every pushup she did, i'd do 50. had to do 250 pushups...
marinus_fml 20
Cool ******* story.
Pentium_4 27
very impressive. marinus, sarcasm? haha. the FML just reminded me of when i did that
Troll_spray 6
What do you expect from 45 just look at his pic he's obviously upset that all the roids shrunk his ****.
marinus_fml 20
Nah! No sarcasm! 250 pushups is mean! Impressive if you did them in one go.
Unlucky_Gun 0
45 looks like he can do 800
Pentium_4 27
not bad for a nerd huh? and yeah i bet he could do 800!!
Pentium_4 27
oh, it was over 2 sets. only expected her to do 2 lol
ksackal91 0
69- you're retarded and pathetic.
madelinebriana 11
Am I the only one who isn't easily impressed by a guy doing push-ups?
capodanno 4
Obviously not. OPs wife wasn't either.
pagullarka 9
So what can we do to impress you:-)
justalilrandom2 4
Dude, she's 15, put your dick away.
madelinebriana 11
Hahah 29, you're right, my bad. I just meant that I personally think there are much better ways to impress someone, like aspects of your personality rather than something like push ups
capodanno 4
I dated a guy once who threw out his shoulder trying to do some dumb physical feat to impress me. It worked, but I was 15.
Sidel 11
80- Well, many girls do like muscles. That doesn't mean they get impressed by how many pushups you can do.
SoSickWithIt 14
Yeahh, maybe it's because most guys like physical traits more, and that's the bases of anyone's forethought on a person is what you see at first glance, so someone's outer appearance is a luring attraction. ...I like teh boobiee.
SoSickWithIt 14
Not anyones boobs on this comment chain though, that would be a very weird thing to say.
Pelreskovich 11
You tried to impress your wife by doing pushups.. That was enough for me to know the rest would fail. Impress her in bed instead.
Coffeebang 17
Pushups? Really?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Really. Push-ups.
perdix 31
That might work on a girl you meet in a bar, but push-ups won't impress a wife. Try holding down a steady job for 6 months, that'll really get her wet!
androiddestroya 7
like a sir :D
leogirl95 12
Showing off FAIL
capodanno 4
If my husband wanted to impress me, he would come home from work on time instead of going out for beers with the guys. He would also read our daughter a bedtime story or get her in the tub. Ahhh dreams, we all have them.
DocBastard 40
Bath time in the Bastard household is daddy's time with the kids. Always has been. Sounds to me like your husband needs to screw his head back on.
perdix 31
Somehow, I think the little Bastards get teased a lot at school.
rubberduckie94 13
Sorry op that is no good what your wide did by calling you an idiot. That is kind of a mean word. I might of told you to stop called you a dork and helped you up trying to get you to laugh to take your mind off the shoulder pain. Hope you heal fast.
ElricMustang 23
LOL #10 you're hilarious. But, anyway, you shouldn't be doing push-ups with a bad shoulder. YDI
derkster 6
Not that funny how did this get on fml -.-