Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!
alwa7sh 2
she art ******** !
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Comments (153)
iLaurie 0
Lol ew.
ericownz101 0
fake and gay.. girls dont poop
mamamiaaa_fml 12
andddddd? you asked her where she was she told you.
LightningLadyy 0
Agree with #56. She was just being honest, and you should appreciate that!
whoisthisgirl 4
honesty is key :)
Lolzords 11
.
alwa7sh 2
she art ******** !
coolsk8 1
lol win roflol literally
nixter5 18
hahahaha that's so true, good one!!!
saleha97 4
haha!
Hockeyboy4280 18
Hahahahaha!!!
denvan 0
good one lmao
VaultDweller106 7
"My love, my bowels art making movements into the john down the hall. I beg of you not to visit as there is a great stench weeping from the movements. I shall need Febreeze to slay this mighty beast! We shall be together soon, I promise!"
Pocahontas22_fml 0
Well you asked lol
teentee401 37
Yeah I don't see the problem here.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh no, you've found out the truth-- that girls POO and PEE. How will you LIVE?!
HoustonER 0
gtfo troll girls dont poo or pee
nerdsgetmehot 23
I've been called a troll for the first time ever! *Tear* I'm so happyyyy!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Are you perhaps buddies with the Fremont Troll?
a_girl_i_know 0
its funny considering that you just posted a video about trolls! lol
nerdsgetmehot 23
#55 If I lived in Seattle, I would be! #59 Hah! I know, right?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Oh, I used to buddies with him. :P Then, he ate my VW Bug.
daddy15 0
wanna make out?
dt520 4
lies! dirty lies!
mrbeastmode 0
#5 you remind me of my friend. she's really really pretty :)
fthku 13
Oh wow, **** your life. Really, I'm surprised you can go on. Way to go, buddy! Your momma should proud.
crxb16 2
Priceless. What a woman
manzanita2121 6
haha she's a flower!
sweet_candy_ 17
It's the tought that counts. To bad it was at the wrong time : (
sweet_candy_ 17
*thought*
Zmeilerr 22
;)
mintcar 10
Too*
cloudy01 0
tought
macskapingvin 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Women are not very good at romance - that is why they leave it to the men.
yiselthedancer 0
that not true!!!!!!!!
sensboltsfan84 4
Actually, we're better at itthan most men. Not all of us, but some. Might want to think before opening your big mouth
yetanotherginger 19
Nice to know you can speak for an entire gender. Omniscience must be really hard to live with though right? Do you have a source to back your claim, or do you prefer using vague words like 'most' and 'some'? How many is most, 51%? Or a great majority like 75%?
Hidan_fml 0
WTF #10, I think it's the other way around.
alluneedisluv 0
right?? >.<
irokyoursox 6
no it depends on the person 88- he didn't open his mouth. he typed something.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Oh yeah! She's full of class!
seldom66 16
upperclass -_-