Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
Look before you sit.
MrMaD_fml 2
It's funny you mention that. Vomit has a distinct smell... hmm.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (40)
alexandraa_fml 0
Look before you sit.
harmony88 0
Seriously though, I'm not paranoid, but I keep an eye out for things that i might step in while walking, or that might have been left by someone who'd sat in a seat before me, and it results in a lot less laundry/shoe scraping. Even something like a piece of salad in a chair at a restaurant catches my eye, or chinese food, or whatever else threatens me with dirty clothing. A large amount of vomit shouldn't be hard to miss if you're even vaguely paying attention to the world around you.
Jernau_Gurgeh 0
@#31: My thoughts exactly. You have senses so you can pay attention to the world around you, which can benefit you in lots of ways over being oblivious to it.
MrMaD_fml 2
It's funny you mention that. Vomit has a distinct smell... hmm.
whataloadofbull 0
precisely... i smell a fake on this one.. either that or ydi fosho
603050294 0
#2 my thoughts exactly. Unlike water, vomit isn't usually clear and odorless. OP was paying no attention to his surroundings, and that has a price.
PeopleRSoDumb 0
These 'sit in vomit' or 'kneel in vomit' or 'hand in vomit' FML's are really old.
Dr_Haiku 0
Wow that really sucks It looks like a pantless day Have fun in the snow
SweetestSin 4
how did you not notice chunks before sitting? Wasn't there a stench in the air as well? I know if I smell puke I am looking to see where it is so I don't step/sit in it. Not to mention I have this horrible reaction to look at things before sitting on them simply because you never know what will be there. Y simply DI
KatieGoesRawrr 0
maybe the OP had a cold and couldn't smell and not all vomit has chunks iin it.
herzausstein 3
Indeed :-)
magicloud 0
Lucky it was not menstruation....
facefortheradio 0
aaah. de geneugten van een ritje bij de nmbs...
herzausstein 3
Tja, ik kwam juist van Hasselt, dus ik vermoed dat het iemand was die een glaasje te veel jenever ophad :-)
yellowfish_fml 1
Leve jeneversteden!
Armin_fml 0
Ik ben blij dat je nog kunt lachen haha :D
aron33 2
uiiit deee liimburuuug :p
equinoxe_fml 2
mmm, jenever... :D
Armin_fml 0
@aron, daarom dat ie het zo laat opmerkte ;D
xladylarienx 18
Limburg, België? Bestaat dat ook dan? :P
fuckitlosers 0
Uh ja, het is een Belgische Provincie. Om precies te zijn een van de 5 Vlaamse provincies.
LilaBear 2
I've never understood why people don't look at the seat before sitting down when they're in public places.
lettertjes 0
They said (with my explanation between brackets): #9: Ah, the joy of a ride with the NMBS.... (NMBS is the Belgian railways company) # 13 (OP): Well, I was just leaving Hasselt, so I assume it was someone who drank too much jenever (jenever is a kind of gin, Hasselt is a town known for its jenever) #10: Limburg, Belgium? Does that exist as well? (there's also a Limburg, the Netherlands) # 11: Er yes, it's a Belgian province. To be exact, one of the 5 Flemish provinces.
iBou_fml 4
YDI!!!!! cuz u didnt look before u sit