Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML
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Top comments
boopingsnoot 25
Was there no lid on the toilet seat?
Lobby_Bee 18
Weave a new pair of pants out of toilet paper. There's no good way out of this, but it's much better than smelling like shit the whole day.
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Comments (20)
boopingsnoot 25
Was there no lid on the toilet seat?
TelevisionMan 18
Where do lids exist on public toilets?
PandaPrincess4 22
On trains, airplanes, buses...things that move, generally.
lilacgold 16
Train toilets typically do have kids, along with a sign saying to close the lid before flushing, for this very reason. Few people want to be soaked with toilet water, so fitting toilets that are likely to do so with lids makes sense.
lilacgold 16
Lids. That word was LIDS. Good job, autocorrect.
boopingsnoot 25
They have lids on planes and busses, so it makes sense that a moving vehicle would have a toilet lid.
Lobby_Bee 18
Weave a new pair of pants out of toilet paper. There's no good way out of this, but it's much better than smelling like shit the whole day.
tranced_ 45
I just threw up in my mouth reading that, bad day sir, bad day.
Dave_Davington 34
That is most definitely a shitty situation, and don't for second let anyone tell you otherwise.
MidnaLink 35
I’m presuming you brought a change of pants? Change into those and toss the shit ones out of the window.
PenguinPal3017 19
Delete Facebook, lawyer up, hit the gym.
Charlie Given 28
Lol he had his own 4th of July fireworks, just really shitty one's 🤣😨😵
RichardPencil 32
Take off your pants and throw them away. Anyone who takes a long train ride these days is insane, so completing your trip pantsless won’t bother any of the other nuts.
WHSKitty 7
Always put a change of clothes in your bag. You may still stink, but at least you’d be cleaner.
ChromoTec 24
Looks like the fireworks came a little early this Independence Day