Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
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Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
Look before you sit.
MrMaD_fml 2
It's funny you mention that. Vomit has a distinct smell... hmm.
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Comments (40)
Armin_fml 0
#19 Bless jenever cities #20 I'm glad you're still able to laugh :D
AmeOwl 0
Well, now you know to look before you sit.
toastygoat 0
Why does no one look before they sit??
1990TD 6
Hm, gelukkig was je al onderweg naar huis, maar alsnog: als ik op een natte stoel zou gaan zitten, zou ik meteen weer opstaan en een droge zoeken... ;-)
herzausstein 3
Exactly what I did after I discovered it ;-)
_fake_ 0
Respost.
ColdGold 6
Sorry about the vomit, but not sorry for you -- you are in Europe.
sugarnomoh 0
Okay that is freaking sick! Train people are supposed to check the seats after people get off... gross.
MooTaters 0
People should also check seats before sitting down. Not that they deserved it, but I guess they will learn.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Look before you sit. ALWAYS
tacoman007 2
"Today, I was riding on a long train ride. Half way through, I began to feel extremely noxious and dizzy. Suddenly, I vomited onto the seat next to me. A man came in and sat down next to me in my vomit. After 15 minutes he finally noticed, and then began yelling at me for not telling him. FML."
lolton 0
shit i am eating biscuit now...cmon