Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife called me at work to yell at me because the house is a mess. She hasn't helped me clean in over two years, and when I ask for help, there's always a new excuse, headache, tired from work, stress, etc. FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML
Today, my husband asked what I’d done all day. I took it as a criticism and was about to chew his head off about not appreciating all I do, when I took a look at myself still in pyjamas, the filthy house, dirty plates, and unwashed laundry and realised I’ve done fuck all for weeks. I’m a bad wife. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife blamed me for the washing machine breaking. When I told her it wasn’t me because I haven’t used it this week, she immediately changed direction and started blaming me for not doing enough around the house, which is utter bullshit. I know I do my share, I think she just wanted to fight. FML
Today, my wife got home from a 8 day vacation with our daughter. She was instantly angry and yelling at me for not setting the new lights she asked me to install to the correct settings; mad at the paint job I spent hours on in our shower being “not professional enough”; irate that I got a Roomba. One hour down. FML
Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Throw divorce papers at hers.
009bouris 5
I would love to see the comments if the sexes were reversed no way a lazy dude gets any sympathy. or a woman gets told to take her man that assaulted her to take a course that he might want to do
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
L0life29 6
alimony is costly
BurnInDemonFire 39
Throw divorce papers at hers.
Rake 18
Not that I'm for domestic violence. But assuming this is a one time thing. Both can be a sign of depression. Try taking a few days off, take her out to places she like. Help her think about it positively As a chance to advance or maybe switch to something she liked more. Maybe take some time to do a course that she wanted.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
If her first reaction is to throw a mug at her husband after he called her out on her laziness, you can bet your ass it's not going to be a one time thing. He doesn't need to take time off to help her collect herself, he needs to get out of that marriage while he still can.
009bouris 5
I would love to see the comments if the sexes were reversed no way a lazy dude gets any sympathy. or a woman gets told to take her man that assaulted her to take a course that he might want to do
Iamthebanzai22 21
Just divorce her and get it over with. It will save you a few years and many fights. She needs to take responsibility.
great_nate 26
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a mug.